Wow. It's Been A Long Time

I guess I have a lot of catching up to do. I can't believe that it's been two months since I last blogged. What in the world have I been doing?!

I think I wanted something random to do (see previous post) and finally found a few things to occupy my weekends.

-I went to Tennessee to work at a doctor's office for day and stopped by Elvis' birthplace in Tupelo, MS. It was a special time for me as I learned SO much about the obsession that people have with him. I was....by far!!!....the youngest person there. While in the gift shop, the cashier noticed that someone dropped their Elvis Presley guitar pick and knowing that "someone would really miss this", went out to the bus to find it's owner. Come on! A guitar pick?!
I joke about it but it was kind of fun to visit and learn more about the King. He DID come from a humble home and really had to work his way up to the top.

-We had our Lordship conference and I am still amazed at the men we have locally who have a love, zeal, passion for the Lord and the Gospel. They are such leaders and it was a good time for me to fellowship and really take time out of a weekend to hear God's Word. And I got to see Ben Gardner who just enough to get us really missing the whole family.

-Josh turned nine this year!!!! He is such a sweet kid and I cannot believe that it's been nine years. He had a Spongebob birthday which was pretty uneventful. Suprising for the Vaughan's since we like to have some kind of something crazy happen at our get togethers. The moonwalk didn't collapse, topple over, nor did anyone try to die as it fell in on us. The cake made it through the party in a whole piece and Joanna didn't let any balloons fly away before the party started. I'm kind of sad that it was so low key. Maybe we're starting a new trend.

-Joanna and I decided to go see the Leonardo da Vinci exhibit one weekend and it turned into a "tour of Birmingham". At first we were just going to the exhibit but saw a pink fountain of water on the way. Turns out the breast cancer walk-a-thon thing was that weekend and they dyed the water in the fountain pink. Kind of cool.

Then to the museum where we saw Leonardo himself. I made the comment that I'd never taken a picture with Leonardo before and "he" (the guy who was dressed up as Leo was character, I guess) said, "I've never had my picture taken before." Silly. The drawings were really cool and I have a new appreciation for the guy. He was borderline genius as far as I'm concerned.

Since we are rather random, we thought we'd drive around a bit, looking at buildings and stuff. We found a tiny little hot dog place and a rather decent Famous Pete's hot dog which we ate at the Vulcan.

I'd never seen Vulcan and found it to be...big. Learned a lot about Birmingham and it's beginnings, etc. Good to know I guess since I've been here over 20 years and never knew.

Not surprising, Joanna and I decided to take some silly pictures. My favorite is one of Joanna laying out on the sidewalk like she was the anatomical man (a drawing by Leo). Only Joanna would have absolutely NO shame in laying flat on the sidewalk. In public. While wedding pictures were being taken just feet away.

We saw a few other buildings that are unique to Birmingham and had a fun day just being with each other. I love my little sis!

-Went to Virginia with the parents again. This was the first time we'd been back since my grandmother passed away. Kind of different, odd to go to Virginia and there not be any grandparents to see. We have a LOT of family up there but there's something about the grandparents. I'll have to write another blog telling about the fun we had while we were up there. Only the Vaughan girls can find ridiculous things to do.

So my life has been fun, not necessarily busy, but enjoyable.

I still miss Dr Perry. Horribly. It's hard to believe that he's gone. Just the other day I thought about something I wanted to share with him and it hit me like a punch in the chest that he wasn't there to talk to. I know he's in heaven and I'll see him again one day but...

And that's my update. Hopefully I won't let so much time pass before my next one.

In A Rut

Ok. So I haven't blogged in a while because there has been absolutely nothing exciting to even blog about. My life has been caught up in working until 6:30-7:00 at night, answering emails and falling asleep while typing. If that doesn't scream excitement, I don't know what does.

I have decided though, that I'm going to find something fun and random to do. I'm just not sure what yet, so....any ideas?





Let me tell you about the precious phone call I got today from my 2 year old niece.

Me: Hello.
Niece: Hey Su-Su.
Me: Hey Maddie!!!! What are you doing?
Niece: I home. I un oo Su-Su ca. (I want to go in Su-Su's car)

So then Mommy gets on the phone. I'm picking Maddie up within 10 minutes and she goes with me to eat with a friend. How in the world could I say no to such a sweet request?! We talked, sang a little and had a marvelous time.






I really need something to do if I'm now transcribing phone conversations.

Help me.

One Topic To The Next

Have you ever looked back on a few days and wondered why did I do that? I've worked some long hours this week and really haven't had time to do anything, read anything or even pray. I've just been too exhausted. And because I haven't read, prayed or slept like I needed to, it makes the fight against sin a lot harder.




Do you have a particular sin that you just keep repeating over and over and over? You know it's wrong. You do it anyway.

And why? You know you're just going to feel guilty and beg forgiveness. But it's like the temptation is just too strong. My pastor calls these "pet sins". Sins that we just can't give up because they're too precious to us. Why can't God be that precious to me?

And what's even more amazing than the fact that I don't learn after about a million times of doing wrong is that my heart is convicted, I run to God for forgiveness and He grants me forgiveness. All those million times. Now if that's not grace amazing and mercy overflowing then I'm not sure what is. I was so upset over my selfishness and God's mercy that I wrote a poem. A poem to express my distress. To show my black heart and God's overwhelming love. The kind of deep love that's underneath me, all around me.

When I was younger I used to write poems all the time. I found that I could express myself better in poetry than just words on paper. I rarely showed those poems to anyone and probably couldn't even find them now. In fact, I probably don't want to find them because they're rather juvenile. But there's something about a outlet to express.


Anyway. Back to my original thought.
How can God forgive me all those times knowing I'm going to fall again? Soon. He is so long-suffering with me. I don't understand. But I do appreciate it. Maybe THIS time I'll have learned my lesson. Maybe THIS time I will throw off that pet sin and replace it with Christ.

I hope so. I pray so.




And some silly things from today:
-Heels can make you feel pretty and girly...especially if they're pink.
-I like spending time with my family and I sure do miss them when they're gone.
-The beach is calling me. (Danielle...I might be coming your way!)
-I lost my crochet needle.
-Politics wear me out.
-Some people will talk to ANYBODY. (Joanna and I stopped to get a bite to eat at the cafeteria at Watermark and this guy was talking to anybody and everybody. I learned that he drag races for a living. He owned a restaurant called Shut Up and Eat. He has someone else running that restaurant and is living off the interest alone. He thinks Joanna and I are twins. He loves shrimp.)





I'm supposed to be running to practice for a marathon that Stacey and I are doing in a few years. Have I even walked? Absolutely not. So I decided that I'm going to walk/run at least 3 times a week for starters.

I mean it.




And finally. Do you have a person in your life that you share things with and they always had a different perspective than anyone else? And it was always a good thing. Like you could get the same answer out of 20 people and this person would say the same thing but with different words, in a different way and it would be the decision maker or breaker.

I am just amazed, thankful, blessed for the people God puts in my life.

Life

Do you ever feel like life is too complicated? I'm struggling with this issue of living in the world but not like the world. It's not as easy as it sounds. I work at an OBGYN office and though we're a Christian office there are a lot of patients that aren't. Surprisingly, I hear all kinds of language, crudeness and stories that would make you blush and yet I have to be professional. How can I filter through the bad and pick out what needs to be addressed? These women aren't coming to us for a sermon but for health care. At what point do I say..enough!
Drinking adult beverages in public. Does a stranger assume that because I am holding a beer or a glass of wine in my hand that I'm a sot? I don't have a problem with drinking in moderation but if I drink in public am I giving off a different impression?
How about secular music. There are so many songs out that are encouraging, uplifting, even spiritual sounding but if the artist is an atheist or a womanizer hooked on drugs and alcohol am I endorsing them by enjoying and buying their music?


Disclaimer:*I randomly chose three topics. I am not picking on one issue over another nor am I thinking about anyone in particular when I write about these things*


These are all tough questions and I have to be careful to not be a legalist when I address these issues in my heart. I want to be a light in this dark world. I want others to see me and see that there's something different about me, something peaceful. I want to be out and about enjoying good music, enjoying a glass of wine, working at my job but show forth Christ in my life. I speak out but sometimes I wonder if I speak out enough. Am I living my life differently than the world?

As I'm out in the world I really need to pray that God would show me wisdom in each situation. That He would use me to pull out the good and throw away the bad in everything I do. I want to love my patients and be bold in saying that I don't want to hear the unnecessary. I want to be able to enjoy that adult beverage while showing moderation. I want to love the beautiful song and speak up against the writer/artist who does not acknowledge his Creator.



I just don't know how to do that. Any thoughts? Any suggestions?


And then I wonder if it's possible to please everybody. I'm sure there are some who would be offended that I listen to the radio. And some would never drink in public but wouldn't mind it in the privacy of their own home. Some wouldn't listen to the patient because of her foul mouth and never get to the root of her problem. I don't want to be this person. Instead of being worried about what people are thinking, I want to be worried about what God thinks of me. Yet I have a reputation to uphold and others are watching. People watch more than you think.

Am I all over the place with these thoughts? Are they making sense to anybody?


I just need to pray that God would guide me, show me what I'm supposed to say, when I supposed to say it. I pray for conviction when I'm wrong and discernment to pick through the filth of this world and pull out what was meant for good. I pray for understanding for those are around me and boldness to speak up for truth. I pray for wisdom.



Does anybody else struggle with these things?

Bob That Head

A friend at work had two tickets to see Rascal Flatts in Atlanta last night. She wasn't able to go and when I heard that she was GIVING them away, I mentioned that I might be interested.

Ok. I practically begged her to think about me if she was seriously giving them away.

She did give them to me (!!) and I started on my quest to find another person to go. The first that came to mind was already going and I figured that Mona (from work) was always on the prowl for something random to do on the weekend, so I asked her.

She said yes!!!

We had planned on meeting up after work on Friday since we only had a half a day we thought that we could leave around 2:00, 2:30 and make it to Atlanta before all the traffic. I'm here to say that that did not happen. Work delayed us so we left right at 3:00 with wet hair and no makeup, starving and adrenalin pumping. We did get something to eat pretty quick and made good time to Atlanta despite the late start.

Mapquest gave us great directions and even took us around the traffic and we pulled in with time to spare. Parking was so expensive but a girl can't complain when she didn't have to pay for tickets.

It was about a 10 minute walk to Lakewood Amphitheatre and we stood in line for about an hour and a half to get in. When we finally made it to the front and they checked our bag (my trusty backpack), we were informed that backpacks are not allowed and we would have to take it back to the car. I nicely informed that lady this was an inconvenience but took my backpack all the way back to the car while Mona waited on me. In the mean time my other friends who are already in are probably wondering where I am and the concert is close to starting.

I decided to just walk all the way back up the front of the line and not wait since I already had which made a lady behind me very angry. I told her that I had already waited for 90 minutes like she had and was sent away.

She didn't care. She talked ugly about me until I got through the gates. Thankfully I ignored her and didn't turn around and slap her which is what the old Susanna would have done. Only the saving grace of God turns a heart around so that I show love instead of hatred and anger.

Taylor Swift opened the concert and really put on an interesting show. She is a unique performer and has different songs that are so catchy.

During the intermission we looked for my friends a few times and never did find them. Sad!! I really wanted to see them. Sorry friends!!!

(they were somewhere around here...)

And then...

The drum roll starts. Getting louder. And LOUDER! Fireworks shoot up from the stage, the curtain falls and there they are. Up on a lift...

RASCAL FLATTS!!!!

Mona and I screamed and screamed and hugged and screamed some more. We were like a two high schoolers. But that's alright because we had a blast!!!

They sang all my favorite songs and we sang right along with them. There are few videos and much more pictures on facebook if you'd like to check them out.

The crowd was really neat where we were sitting. It looked like lots of families and couples who just wanted to watch the concert. But that wasn't the case all over. It seemed like the further back you got the more, how can I tackfully say this... interesting the people got. I don't understand the need to dress trashy and over-indulge in drinking to have a good time. And I was sad to hear one of the group using language that they don't use in their songs and talking about girls in Atlanta in a way that they don't portray in their music. Seeing trashy people and hearing foul language was a turn off but I really enjoyed the singing.

I had a blast and really enjoyed Mona going with me. Thanks Mona!!!

We did leave the concert a little early to look for the tour bus with no luck. I even asked a guy behind one of the fences where they were. He pointed to the back of the amphitheatre but when I asked him if we could get back there he said no. We knew he'd say that but at least we knew where they were and tried really hard to get back there and see them.

We left Atlanta in heavy traffic with big smiles on our faces, blisters on our feet, wearing Rascal Flatts t-shirts and lots of pictures and memories. I'm glad I went and owe a BIG thank you to my friend, my coworker who participated in such a fun-filled evening.

Grandma

I'm heading off to Virginia to see my family. My grandmother passed away this weekend. She was the last of the grandparents and it seems like the end of an era since we (my immediate family and I) have been driving up to Virginia to see them for 22 years.

The memories I have of this particular grandmother are many. In fact, some of my very first memories are of her. It's hard not to think about that as I try so hard to not be sad since she was 91 years old and is perfectly healed now but I sure do miss her already.

Thankfully, she was a believer. She read her Bible every day, always prayed over every meal and with her children and grandchildren. But most importantly she was a teacher of the Word. She practiced what she preached. She taught us to love one another when we were younger and always seemed to be in some kind of tiff. She taught us to forgive each other when we felt like we were wronged. She was always ready to talk when we called and would ask one more question when we told her we had to say goodbye. When we packed up our car to head home after a visit, she cried and hugged us tight, making sure we knew that we had a place to stay and could stay as long as we wanted.

But what I remember the most was a time when my heart was broken. I had the advice and consolation of friends and family but all there well-meaning words didn't seem to comfort my soul. When I called my grandma and told her my woes she simply said...God's in control. He wouldn't let anything happen to you or your heart that wasn't meant for your good. Just trust in Him...

So simple. And it was exactly what I needed. The simple truth. Trust in Him. Isn't that the solution to so many of our problems.

That's how my grandmother was. Simple in all she did. She wasn't simple-minded by any means but what I mean is that she was a country girl and she rolled with the punches. There was no "reading into" anything in the Word...either you trust God or you don't. Same with us when we stayed at her house. Either you lied or you didn't. Either you abide by her rules or you go home. Very simple. But the funny thing is, now that I look back, her rules weren't all that rigid and easy to follow. She was such a dear woman and the impact that she made on my life will never be forgotten.

I guess I'm rambling on and on about a lady you've never met. But she was so precious to me and I can't wait until I see her again on the other side and we can praise our Saviour together.

Family is such a blessing, isn't it?

Where To Go? What To See?

Right now I can't get Italy off my mind. There was so much more I wanted to do and so much I didn't see. Not too mention that I got to spend time with fun friends and eat the best food ever. I miss it.

I want to get away. Visit a place that I've never been to before. See something new and interesting. Have you ever had that itch to just get out of town and away from the normal life, the mundane job, the same surroundings that I've seen for so long.

Any suggestions?

Top Ten Things That Have Run Through My Mind Today

1. I'm trying to find good books about heaven. Since Dr Perry passed away I've thought more and more about heaven and wonder what people's thoughts are. So far I've found Heaven by Randy Alcorn and 90 Minutes In Heaven by Don Piper. I know I have books that talk briefly about heaven...I just have to find them. I'm open for suggestions.

2. I totally enjoy frozen green seedless grapes.

3. The new show Wipeout makes me laugh out loud. Literally.

4. I am always amazed how I can think about something all day long, sometimes all week long. Then read something along that thought in the Scripture. Then someone sends me a devotional that totally fits with all I've thought about. And finally a friend calls and talks to me about something that exactly goes along with my thoughts. The providence of God is beautiful.

5. I can't wait to look at my pictures again.

6. Some of the people I went to school with look a lot older. Strangely, I don't seem to look older at all...snick!

7. My car seems to be using gas much quicker now that it's gone up. I think they're doing something different to it so that it burns up faster. It's all a conspiracy.

8. People are depraved and wicked.

9. I wish I had some frozen grapes right now.

10. I'm so glad I found my Bible study book so I can see Stacey.

How Do You Say Goodbye?!

I'm sad.

I can't help it but a dear, dear friend (and family) have moved to another state. Thankfully their last Sunday with us brought a message that helped my sad little heart.

I'm been considering how we are so different in walks of life and yet seem to have so much in common. She's married and has a full time job of raising five children. I am single, no children and seem to be working all the time. I know that our bond is Christ but I had no idea how tight that could be until I heard an excerpt Sunday.
A paraphrase: An Englishman and an African met, each having two very different backgrounds. One attending college and having the finer things of life. The latter having to hunt his own food and working for all he has. Yet when they meet they seem to have all in common because they have their all in Christ. In fact, they find that they have more in common with each other than they do their family and closest friends.

This is how I feel with Marie. And not just with Marie but with a few others as well. (One I meet with for Bible study!) This common foundation of Christ seems to make up for all other things. Amazing.

But I'm still sad.

I miss her. I miss those kids!




Ok, fine. I miss Ben too.
I don't like change but it's very obvious that change must happen for growth. For them. For me.

Wow! It's Been A Long Time!

First I must apologize to my blog readers who wanted updates while I was abroad (I like saying abroad because it makes me sound like I'm a world traveler). Unfortunately, the family I stayed with did not have internet for most of the time I was there and even if they did there were 7 people using one computer so I wouldn't have had much time. My brother-who loves computers and knows all about them-asked why I didn't just go find some public wi-fi. It wasn't that easy. All this to say that my lack of communication was not because I didn't try.

By the time I had to leave Italy I was thoroughly enjoying not having a computer or telephone. I realize now how much time I spend on both (usually necessary) and having a break was so refreshing. It was really nice to not have to multitask.

Where do I start?
My flights were good. I almost missed a connecting flight because planes were delayed twice. I literally jogged (with a 50 pound backpack on) off the plane to hear them paging..."Last call for Vaughan (and some other poor soul who was about to miss his flight)."...I made it just in time and they shut the door almost as soon as I sat down. Whew! that was a close one. I didn't want to miss any flights!

The flight to from JFK to Rome was good. There was some turbulence (for about 20 minutes which is a long time if you've never experienced it) and I am not ashamed to say that it scared me a little. It woke me up and I prayed and sang a hymn out loud...that's right, I said out loud. It was softly so no one else heard me. (and for those who are wondering I sang God Will Take Care Of You... I thought it fitting) Thankfully I sat on the wing and the seat next to me was empty so I was able to stretch out.

I hoped that when I got into Rome that smells and sights would trigger memories. I'm hear to tell you that the very first smell was not pleasant and absolutely no memories were triggered. Ever. My first smell was the baggage claim in the bottom of the airport which smelled like most of the people there hadn't bathed for weeks and musty shoes. Not a good combination.

I made it up to the top in record time and even beat Cheri getting there. I came inside to look for her again and saw her rounding the corner. She had a sign that had my name on it like all the other people who were picking up tourists. Silly girl! She had Lydia with her who is a young lady from Pennsylvania who recently graduated from college. She did two years in the states and two years of school in Italy and fell in love with Rome and the Giulianis so she came back for a visit and doesn't plan on going home. She is such a sweet, good-natured girl and Cheri and I had a lot of fun picking on her.

The driving in Rome was so...interesting. They have two lane roads but chose to make them into 4, sometimes 5. Stop signs are suggestions and not heeded unless a car is REALLY close and sidewalks aren't for people to walk only but also for Vespas and scooters. Strangely enough, none of that bothered me like Cheri thought and I had no problem riding in Rome.

Cheri and I did most of the sight-seeing. I'm sure the kids are tired of seeing the same 'ole buildings every time a visitor comes. I learned even more that Cheri and I are a lot alike and we had a marvelous time! We saw the Vatican but I didn't go inside because the line went all the way around St Peter's square. In case you were wondering, St Peter's square is really round. I was shocked and perplexed. I took a picture with a police officer and found out that they don't really do that. I also learned that you don't smile at people, specifically men, when you make eye contact while you walk down the street; you don't wave at people while driving down the road. It just isn't done. I like being friendly to people and this way of not paying attention is new to me.

I also went to downtown Rome and saw the Colosseum, the Spanish steps, the Trevi Fountain and tons of buildings, flowers, people, tourists, and odds and ends. There's too much to even mention.

We went out of Rome for a day and drove to the mountains of Isola. It was absolutely breathtaking! I still look at the pictures and can't believe how gorgeous it is there and how much the pictures do NOT do it justice. I could easily live there and never talk to society again...but then I'd miss my family and friends. But it is beautiful and God's creation is breath-taking.

I ate a lot of good food and my favorite was...everything! There wasn't one thing I didn't like! Except for maybe the octopus tentacle that I ate. I think that was more of a visual thing. I had gelato (ice cream...the best ever!), real pizza, fish, potatoes baked with herbs, pasta (of course), lasagna, fresh fruit, fresh cheese cake, fresh-squeezed lemonade made from the lemons in Renato's mother's garden...and the list goes on.

The church was so delightful. Cheri was such a doll to translate for me and Renato even spoke in English every now and then when Cheri had to step away. It just did my heart good to hear the messages and to meet the people I've been praying for for some time. They are so loving and so appreciative. Which leads me to another topic. I was kissed more times in those ten days then I had been in years. And I loved it!

The Renato, Cheri, the children and Lydia were such a blessing to me. I miss them. I can't even begin to tell you how much I more they mean to me since I spent time with them. God does place people in our lives that are such inspirations and they are the perfect examples.

I would love to go back to Italy one day to help them out in their ministry but I know that I have a lot of preparation. I need to learn Italian. Bad. I don't necessarily see me moving there full time but I would love to go back and stay for a month or more helping them spread the gospel, bringing light to such a dark world. And then I'm convicted as I see that the light needs to be shown here as well. Such a need...everywhere. Oh that God would raise up many more who are burdened to take the gospel around the world. And I know that it starts with me, with you, but there is so much to be done.

Over all...I had a wonderful trip! I can't wait to go back and I am so appreciative, thankful for all the prayers. I thank you for asking about my trip, for suffering through A-L-L the pictures, for listening to my stories and for being as excited as I was. I love you all!


And it's good to be home.

Catching Up

I feel like I've had time to do anything lately and yet have accomplished nothing. There's so much to catch up on.

The most bittersweet has been the end of this life for Dr Perry. Bitter because he's gone and quickly too. His memorial service will be on the 3 month marker. And sweet because I know that he's not suffering any more. Instead he's singing eternal praises to our Saviour. Still miss him though.

In just a week and a half I'll be in Italy!!!! I can't wait! I don't have much packed and it's driving me crazy.

I feel like I've worked 10 hours every day. Getting to work early and leaving late has worn this girl out. But this too will pass...

My nieces and nephews are still the delight of my life. The memories of times with them make me smile every day.
Josh riding his daddy's lawnmower and doing donuts in the yard. When he calls me to tell me his game has been cancelled but so I'm not too disappointed, I can come to his practice one night.
Lanie running. Her attentive reading along of the Bible even though she's not in the right chapter, let alone book.
Maddie writing on Sam's head. Her first words every time I see her "I 'on go byyyeeee."
Sam grinning and doing his one foot dance when he sees me. When he says "a-baa?" when someone leaves the room like he's saying "hey, where are you going?"

I could go on for hours.

That's a few of the updates. Maybe when I have time I'll catch you up on other things.

A Rant

This blog is nothing but a rant. Be warned and read at your own risk.

I went dancing last night and discovered that tall men don't dance. I don't get it! There were lots of guys there but the tall ones (those 6 foot and over) stood off to the side or weren't even there. Now the guys who are my height (or shorter) were quite willing to dance and even danced well, asking women to dance left and right.

I ask you, men of physical stature...where are you? Why aren't you dancing?

As I stood talking to friends I noticed that I am head and shoulders taller than most of the people who were at the ball I attended. I realize that I'm tall for a girl and that I like to wear heels. But am I asking too much for just a few 6 foot or taller men to attend a few balls? Don't you desire culture? Don't care to get out of your 72+ inch box and learn a little dancing?


And now to the unmarried under 5'6" girls. Why can't you settle for a man who's a few inches taller than you. Why must you go for the guy who could carry you on his hip. The guy who is at least a foot taller than you and when you stand together you look like his child. Leave the tall guys for the tall girls, ok?




Disclaimer: This rant is not directed towards any of my dear family and friends who are short girls married to tall men. I'm not sure who it's directed to.

Oreos

There has been great debate on how to properly eat an oreo cookie. Regardless of the many ways, they always equal enjoyment.

1: Some eat the cookie with absolutely no milk. I find this offensive.
2: Then there's the group who eat the cream center and dip the cookie in milk...or coffee. Though I don't necessarily enjoy this method, milk is involved which is always a plus.
3: I have a family member who dips the cookie in their milk, but only for a short time. Not enough to really get a milk taste. This method is necessary when in public which I have resorted to simply to be proper.
4: The elite group will always hold their cookie deep in their mug of milk, rotating the cookie around to get optimum cookie softness. At times, you have to drink your milk down to find the cookie that broke off but that is just the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Occasionally, one's fingers will get cold but it's so worth the ultimate taste enjoyment.
5: And to add to the excitement I have a friend who uses a spoon to get his cookie out of the milk, which also increases the amount of cookie that is exposed to milk. There is a tricky part to this 'spooning' method. You must hold your cookie in the milk halfway, soaking only one half. If you don't do this first then the cookie will float which is not what we're looking for when seeking supreme oreo tastiness.

I can't think of any other way to eat an oreo. All I ask is that you just eat one.

How can the world be sad if oreos are around?

Chaos and Peace

Two thoughts have entered my mind as I sat down to type this entry. Chaos and peace.

I had the most fun this weekend at my sweet niece's (Alayna) birthday party. She turned four and didn't mind showing you how she could count to four on her fingers. I went by their house on Friday to see if there was anything I could do and was commissioned to help clean up the kids room. Joshua, being the adorable 8 year old that he is, paid me a dollar for helping them.

The next day as the moonwalk arrived, I think I was more excited than the kids. It is just so much fun to watch it blow up and take form. It was a strawberry shortcake (or strawberry cake...as Lanie calls it) moonwalk and she loomed over the doorway in a kind of scary way. I admit that I was a bit frightened when I would go in and out.
Of course, moonwalks aren't just for kids and the older "kids"...the adults...got in also. Little did we know that the moonwalk had slipped off the air compressor just enough to make the airflow not so good. We jumped a while...well, they jumped and I held a scared 2 year old in my lap trying to convince her that moonwalks are fun. There was another 2 year old that was being bounced around but she seemed to like it. Two big boys (my 6'4'' brother being one of them) got on one side of the moonwalk and it started caving in and the screams of fear began. They went back to the middle and every thing was ok. Then back to the side and it caved in again. The boys thought it was oh, so much fun while I was left trying to console one screaming child with another one grabbing my leg. I guess the moonwalk couldn't recover the last time it caved in because it wouldn't fill back up with air and the boys were holding up the ceiling with their hands. I was a tad bit frightened but they were all laughing so I figured it couldn't be that bad. I tried to get out through the tiny door but the scary Strawberry Shortcake kept collapsing on the doorway. I shoved one 2 year old out the door, yelling for a parent to grab her and the other child had a death grip on my neck so I had to head out the door with her.

Side note: if you've ever been on a moonwalk lately, the doors really lack in size. They are so tiny and you really have to squeeze to get out. Not a graceful entrance or exit.

So I'm trying to get out the door head first. That was my big mistake. There was no air on the step right out side the door and it was just collapsing on the ground every time I tried to squeeze out. I think I could have made it if the baby wasn't climping up my neck and the others in the moonwalk would have stopped jumping for just 2 minutes. But no. It was so much funnier to keep jumping and laughing and pointing. I get out on the step and was bounced into the grass face first. Grass is not as tasty as you think, especially when it's mixed with mud. Thankfully the child had made her way around to my back so she was not injured. What was injured was my pride because the jumpers were laughing and the collapsing of the moonwalk had drawn the attention of all the other partiers and they were sitting around the tables watching my try to get out with two kids. Did they help? Absolutely not. They were too busy laughing to get up.

The lesson learned. Don't get out of a moonwalk head first when there's not much air in it and you have children hanging all over you and others are still jumping.

The moonwalk was hooked properly back up to the air compressor and it's amazing how well you can jump when it has air in it.



I keep trying to pack for my trip to Italy. Yes, that's right, I'm going to Italy!!! I have tried to get things together for the past 3 days with no avail. I keep finding other things to do like cleaning the bathroom, going to a birthday party, my taxes, sleeping. It's like I'm doing every thing but what I'm supposed to be doing. Amazing how good I am at procrastinating. I wonder if it's a spiritual gift.


I've been thinking all weekend about how a Godly woman is to keep a quiet heart and then my pastor speaks on the very thing this morning in his sermon. Elisabeth Elliott had a great quote and also quoted Amy Carmichael about this very thing.

"Jesus slept on a pillow in the midst of a raging storm. How could He? The terrified disciples, sure that the next wave would send them straight to the bottom, shook Him awake with rebuke. How could He be so careless of their fate? He could because He slept in the calm assurance that His Father was in control. He was a quiet heart." Elisabeth Elliott
"Thou art the Lord who slept upon the pillow,
Thou ar the Lord who soothed the furious sea,
What matter beating wind and tossing billow
If only we are in the boat with Thee?

Hold us in quiet through the age-loing minute
While Thou art silent, and the wind is shrill:
Can the boat sink while Thou, dear Lord, art in it?
Can the heart faint that waiteth on Thy will?" Amy Carmichael

Oh to have that quiet heart and peacefully rests in Him through all situations. Even the storms. Especially the storms.

And it was such a peaceful ending to a fun-filled, crazy weekend to know that I can have a quiet heart. I just have to rest.

Ponderings Of A Sinner

I sit in this hospital room with a mind full of thoughts. Wondering "why", "if only", "how". And then the Lord speaks to me through the words of a book, the blogging of a friend, and His own revealed Word. And all my thoughts seem to cease with their turmoil and maybe, just maybe I can gather them.

One thought=
I sit with a friend who has cancer in his lungs. He sleeps so peacefully and I can't help but just watch him breathe in and out, over and over. It makes me thankful for this time that I have with him, a sweet memory that I won't forget. Deep down inside I want to share with him the things that I've learned through my own affliction but dare I wake him when he sleeps so well? Do I dare tell him that I know of One, the same One that he knows, who will carry him through this trial just as He carries me even now. I know my precious friend knows already but maybe I was sent here this day to remind him.

Next thought=
How could I dare to think of missions when I know my own dark heart. How could I share and exhort others to lead a pure and holy life when I don't lead one myself. Then I'm reminded that being transparent might be the very tool that God uses to draw one to Him. Being transparent is so tough but necessary.

And another thought=
Why does it seem that when I have free time I don't catch up on reading or journal? I keep thinking about that book that I haven't finished, stare at it on the table, but do I pick it up and read. No. I have no excuse or answer for this thought.

The last thought I will post=
This day, Good Friday, I think of my Saviour. The One who gave Himself, willingly, to die for my sins. I know that His work is accomplished because He rose on the 3rd day. Death was conquered. Hallelujah!! He is risen! It makes my heart so full of thankfulness that I can't speak. So I type. Why does He love me so? Why does He delight in me? Oh thank You that You do love me and delight in me! Thank You for Your mercy, grace, love and peace.


So I share some of my thoughts with you, dear reader, in hopes that I will be transparent enough to encourage you, exhort you, tell you that you are not alone in this Christian walk. There are others who reflect on their sins, repent daily, worry about others (saved or not), and praise God through out the day.

Be encouraged, my friend.

Laugher and Prayer

Kids make me laugh. Period. All weekend I've been around my nieces and nephews and they have made me smile, chuckle, giggle and laugh hard more than any time before. I'm not sure what was different about this weekend except that I've been a little stressed and sad lately so maybe laughing is exactly what I need. As I think back on the past few days I still laugh out loud at the memories of sweet kiddos being locked in a bathroom stall, eating candy off a public floor, the 2 year old taking money out of my wallet and giving it to the Dairy Queen cashier, saying "chee" (cheese....she loves cheese) or the wooden sword that was made with red paint on the end to make it look like blood (only a boy would think of that).

And then there's the baby that now claps. (He holds one tiny hand still and hits it with the other hand.) Who grins at you whenever you look his way. Who has a different colored spot in his eye just like his aunt. How can a child make a sad heart a little more glad?

I was reminded this weekend that God delights in me despite my wayward heart. How can I stray from a God Who loves me so? How can I be so selfish and He be so merciful?

I heard this morning a sermon that showed me I am quite like Peter in that I have a "weapon" (his was a sword...mine are my words or my ways) that I quickly use simply because I have it, not waiting for the right time, the proper time. Weapons are not bad in and of themselves and are to be used with love. I don't always do that. I, like Peter, see an injustice or a situation that isn't going like I think it should and wield my weapon cutting another down in a way that cannot be repaired unless God intervenes. As my pastor said, we must pray ourselves up so that we don't overreact. Such sobering thoughts as I remember how I like to speak first and think later.

And it's time to start back a new week which means back to work, back to stress. Maybe I ought to pray.

Emotions

I sit here and it's way too late to be up, let alone blogging. But here I am...thinking about my past week's events. I think I've had and displayed every emotion that a woman could have.

Tears: I've cried more these past two weeks than I have in ten years. My sweet Christian doctor has cancer and it's serious. He has been such an inspiration to all of us and to patients and has been a pioneer in his field. It hurts when a someone that is needed so much isn't there any more.

Smiles and Laughter: When somone's been deathly sick and then they bounce back and start bossing you around like they used to...it just makes you smile.
Children are theraputic. My neices and nephews are always doing or saying something that makes me laugh. One is wearing her sparkly red shoes with everything whether it matches or not. Another goes into detail about his video games like they're real. One niece uses sign language because she's too young to really talk, like...blowing kisses and holding your car keys when she wants to leave. I also love that she tells you she has to potty just so she can wash her hands. And the darling baby. The child who still laughs at every face you make and breaks into a sweet smile when you walk in the room. How can anyone be sad around these kids?

Anger: Someone wasn't paying attention in traffic and slammed on breaks in front of me making me spill all the contents of my purse into the floor. That purse has lots of small contents. Sometimes I wish I had the time to follow these people and make them pick up my stuff. Sounds ridiculous now, but I was really mad then.

Annoyance: It really bugs me when someone doesn't park straight in their parking space. Just because your between the lines doesn't mean it's appropriate. Does anyone care about parking etiquette?!

Frustration: Getting up early and going to bed late is not a good combination and leads to weariness of the mind, soul, spirit. Yet I can't seem to get in bed earlier or sleep later and that frustrates me.


Isn't it interesting how God gives us such emotions and how we use them in daily lives. Maybe I ought to rethink how I use the emotions He's given and find a proper time to laugh, smile, cry, show anger and get frustrated. Maybe I ought to pray about proper emotion so that I know when to let things slide and when to follow people to their work. And the good emotions...I hope I never forget the things that make me have those good emotions. Memories of sweet kiddos or funny actions or sweet smiles are something that I never want to forget.

I think I'm beginning to see that I'm thankful for my emotions.

Be Still My Soul

Be still my soul, the Lord is on your side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to your God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: your best, your heavn'ly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

These words were brought to mind by a friend who has a heavy heart like mine. They are timely and true. These words have soothed more than one troubled heart today and I hope that somone who reads this blog can be blessed by them and possibly they will minister to that reader's heart like they have to mine.

Saints and Suffering

After hearing news that a loved one is seriously sick I've wondered what role suffering plays in our lives. I know that in this world there will be suffering, pain, affliction. I know that there will be dark times.

But when that time actually comes in your own life it shakes you. It makes you wonder and question lots of things that you normally wouldn't. There are a few things I've learned in this short time that I hope to never forget.

- In this past 48 hours if I didn't have hope in the One who gives me my next breath then I would have no hope.
- God gives a peace that is hard to explain to others.
- It's hard to allow change in my life.
- Grief comes strong and hard.
- Psalms are a great comfort.
- God is my provider.
- That I pray differently now.
- To say I love you more.

I wish that my heart was not so heavy, but I have comfort in the reality that God will receive glory. He will be honored. He is good. And He delights in us.

Psalm 57:1
" ...in the shadow of Your wings will I make my refuge until these calamites pass over."

My Thoughts. My Day.

1. Due to complete exhaustion and lack of sleep, I decided to have a Cafe Americano, extra shot from Starbucks today. And extra shot, I found out later, means that is has 3 shots of espresso in one cup. My heart has been racing for about 2 hours straight, I've been talking WAY too loud, and I can't feel my lips. Should I be worried.

2. People who think only of themselves have had no compassion from me today. I wonder if tough love is the best way to handle those who think they are the only people in the world.

3. I've been thinking about oreos ever since Stacey said she had some for our Bible study.

4. My neice thinks that any man with a long beard looks like God. She's never seen God and we don't show her the typical pictures of Jesus that are floating around and have even told her that we can't know what God looks like. Yet she has this image that God has a beard in her little 3 year old mind. She's too cute!

5. I've almost paid off my car.

6. I saw the Pompeii exhibit at the art museum this weekend and it made me sad. Such a loss of life!

7. I'm making egg salad tonight.

8. I've not read ONE book that I'm supposed to be reading. Instead I'm caught up in this series of Christian romance fiction. Maybe when I'm through I'll be a little more motivated.

9. I've wondered all day today why God looks at my black heart and loves me anyway. Makes me love Him all the more for His grace. His mercy. Thinking about it makes me want to sing...
"Unfailing love flows from His heart and heals my soul. In spite of who I am, He loves and makes me whole. I almost can't believe it's true, unfailing love. And yet I know He gave His life to give to me. Unfailing love."

10. I want a camera that has a good zoom. Any ideas where I could find an affordable one?


So there are the musings of my mind today. Just a few of them.

What Wondrous Love Is This?

Where does a sinner begin to talk about the love of God that's been bestowed on her? How does one put into words the realization that Christ has covered His child with His own righteousness?

Hosea was told by God to take to wife a woman who was a whore, a well-known whore. A woman who was unloved, unappreciated, used, empty. And Hosea obeyed. Taking her and showing her a love that she'd never known. A love that filled the emptiness in her heart.
What a beautiful picture of the love that God shows me. I, who sought after things of this world, whoring after things that would not give me peace, never really knowing love until He gave it to me. He filled that empty place in my heart that only His love could have filled. He showed me mercy when I should have had death. He gave grace when I deserved wrath. He gives me faith so that I can stand strong against the foe of this world who would remind me of who I was.
How can I express in words this wondrous love? How can I explain to another this love of God?

"What wondrous love is this, O my soul, O my soul!
What wondrous love is this, O my soul!
What wondrous love is this that caused the Lord of bliss
To bear the dreadful curse for my soul, for my soul
To bear the dreadful curse for my soul."

Not my deserving.

Changing Perspective

Maybe I ought to change my perspective, how I see things, how I react, how I live.

I was reminded tonight that Christ, our Messiah, is King. The Jews didn't view Him as Messiah King then or now and wondering about their beliefs got me wondering about my own. Christ didn't come in as a king like they knew...full of pomp, splendor, regal...so He must not be the King that they'd waited on for so long. Jesus, instead, was humble, meek, a servant and didn't fit their descriptions at all.
If the Jews used the worldly description of a king, I wonder how do I use the world's descriptions in my own life?

Contentment-
The world would tell us that it's being married with 2 1/2 kids, an SUV and a minivan and a worry free life. God tells me to be content in all things. Implying that I must even be content in all circumstances, good or bad, even when I would be prone to worry or fret.

Joy-
The world tells us we obtain joy when we can get all we want. Whether it's the ultimate burger, physical shape, car or job. God's tell me that I can be joyful simply because Christ paid the debt for my sins and I now have life eternal. What else could give me more joy?

Peace-
The world offers us no peace. God has sent me the Prince of Peace that speaks to my heart with a still, small voice.

Hope-
The world gives us hope in carnal things that will not last (money, goods) or in people that will fail us. God gives me hope in His promises that all He says will come to pass. He will never leave me. He will never forsake me. He will never fail me.

Changing my perspective in just a few ways could possibly change my whole outlook on life. I wonder how much more could God use me if I would just view a few things unlike the world.

God's Will. My Life

Isn't it strange that God's will for our lives can be almost the complete opposite of our own. Isn't it interesting to know that God would allow an obstacle to come my way for my good, yet all I, and the world, sees is seemingly bad.

I think of Job who lived righteous before God and yet God allowed Satan to tempt him and to take away all the he loved and held dear. All for what reason? For Job's good and God's glory.

None of this makes sense to me but I'm content in placing my life in the hands of One who loves me so. One who guides my life as He sees fit because He will receive glory and I will recieve good. It's a contentment that I can't explain and no one else will understand unless they are in this state.

I love that I have a Creator who is sovereign and ultimate control.

Behind A Frowning Providence He Hides a Smiling Face

I have the sweetest little 17 month old girl at my church who has Down's syndrome. Just playing with her Sunday and seeing what a funny personality she has really gets me thinking about her situation and my reaction to God's will and providences.
Though I would never pray that a child would have Down's syndrome, I now know that I would also never pray that Down's be taken away from a child who's been diagnosed. That little girl has such a unique calling on her life and glorifies God in a way that I can't. She sees life differently than I do. She views life in a way that will forever be innocently child-like. She will always look for the good in people. She will always love unconditionally.

Thinking about her makes me think of another family I know who has a child with Down's. When the father was told that his child, who had just been born had Down's syndrome, he just smiled.
Smiled?!
I could have imagined myself crying, being silent, mourning...but to smile at the news? Yet he understood God's will and accepted it.
I had a different view of God's providences then but in this past year I am just beginning to see that behind every seemingly hideous providence thrown my way is something beautiful. And I am learning to smile.

And that dear child who is part of my church...I can't help but smile when I think of her, even now. If God has a smiling face behind all His providences why can't I have a smiling face as they come my way?

Just a little food for thought.

Laughter

I've just been thinking about how we all need laughter in our lives at some point and time. My sister-in-law and I were talking about spiritual men and how they sometimes get so into theology that they forget to have a personality. She knew one who lost his sense of humor, was dull and viewed everything as a sin because of his study of Scripture. Interesting to think about as we all desire to dig deeper into God's Word.

At what point do we forget life and living and just focus on the study of God? And is that wrong? Just a little something I've been thinking on tonight.

My own thought is that we need each other and staying locked away in a room studying will only make us...well...weird. There's really no other word for it.
We need interaction with other believers who will hold us accountable and even unbelievers who will challenge us. We seem to be social creatures who desire fellowship at some point and time, though I know that there are times we desire quiet as well.
We need to receive love and give love. There's just something about seeing someone you love, especially when they are 5 months old and smile at every word you say.
We need laughter. You can have a thousand troubles that plague you, but they seem so distant when you laugh with someone. Even if it is for just a moment. Laughter loosens you up. Laughter makes a heavy heart light. Laughter with a person is a forever memory.

I can't explain why this has been on my heart this evening. But I do delight in looking back and laughing again at the memories.

New Year

How can I abide in Christ? How can I say that I am resting in Him?

I've found a sweet rest, a sweet repose in giving all my cares to the Great Provider and resting fully in His grace. To be "in Him" is more than a just a line that we hear so many speak about, it's a calm, peace-filled rest knowing that He is sovereign that makes me sing "Hallelujah, What a Saviour! Hallelujah, What a Friend!"
How can I be anxious when He is near? How can I be ungrateful when He has given me so much? I can only praise Him, thank Him that He looked on me, unworthy though I am, and takes delight in showing me mercy.

Knowing this, understanding this is how I can abide and rest in Him. I pray that I never forget this as I start out my new year.