I sit in this hospital room with a mind full of thoughts. Wondering "why", "if only", "how". And then the Lord speaks to me through the words of a book, the blogging of a friend, and His own revealed Word. And all my thoughts seem to cease with their turmoil and maybe, just maybe I can gather them.
One thought=
I sit with a friend who has cancer in his lungs. He sleeps so peacefully and I can't help but just watch him breathe in and out, over and over. It makes me thankful for this time that I have with him, a sweet memory that I won't forget. Deep down inside I want to share with him the things that I've learned through my own affliction but dare I wake him when he sleeps so well? Do I dare tell him that I know of One, the same One that he knows, who will carry him through this trial just as He carries me even now. I know my precious friend knows already but maybe I was sent here this day to remind him.
Next thought=
How could I dare to think of missions when I know my own dark heart. How could I share and exhort others to lead a pure and holy life when I don't lead one myself. Then I'm reminded that being transparent might be the very tool that God uses to draw one to Him. Being transparent is so tough but necessary.
And another thought=
Why does it seem that when I have free time I don't catch up on reading or journal? I keep thinking about that book that I haven't finished, stare at it on the table, but do I pick it up and read. No. I have no excuse or answer for this thought.
The last thought I will post=
This day, Good Friday, I think of my Saviour. The One who gave Himself, willingly, to die for my sins. I know that His work is accomplished because He rose on the 3rd day. Death was conquered. Hallelujah!! He is risen! It makes my heart so full of thankfulness that I can't speak. So I type. Why does He love me so? Why does He delight in me? Oh thank You that You do love me and delight in me! Thank You for Your mercy, grace, love and peace.
So I share some of my thoughts with you, dear reader, in hopes that I will be transparent enough to encourage you, exhort you, tell you that you are not alone in this Christian walk. There are others who reflect on their sins, repent daily, worry about others (saved or not), and praise God through out the day.
Be encouraged, my friend.
3 weeks ago
2 comments:
I am encouraged through your transparency. I am learning that it is the only way to be. Life is too short and eternity is too long for us to spend this life "posturing". There are people who need to know about the Savior who takes away sins of real people, sinners like you and me. And that's why you think of missions - because you are a sinner, redeemed by the work of another, and you know that He is the only Hope of all the human race. He has put it into you to care, because you are His and although marred until "that day", you bear His image and His love. In realizing your neediness of Him, you become qualified. Love ya, dear sister!
Thanks for your sweet comments on my blog! I love you, too, dear sister friend!
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