Have you ever looked back on a few days and wondered why did I do that? I've worked some long hours this week and really haven't had time to do anything, read anything or even pray. I've just been too exhausted. And because I haven't read, prayed or slept like I needed to, it makes the fight against sin a lot harder.
Do you have a particular sin that you just keep repeating over and over and over? You know it's wrong. You do it anyway.
And why? You know you're just going to feel guilty and beg forgiveness. But it's like the temptation is just too strong. My pastor calls these "pet sins". Sins that we just can't give up because they're too precious to us. Why can't God be that precious to me?
And what's even more amazing than the fact that I don't learn after about a million times of doing wrong is that my heart is convicted, I run to God for forgiveness and He grants me forgiveness. All those million times. Now if that's not grace amazing and mercy overflowing then I'm not sure what is. I was so upset over my selfishness and God's mercy that I wrote a poem. A poem to express my distress. To show my black heart and God's overwhelming love. The kind of deep love that's underneath me, all around me.
When I was younger I used to write poems all the time. I found that I could express myself better in poetry than just words on paper. I rarely showed those poems to anyone and probably couldn't even find them now. In fact, I probably don't want to find them because they're rather juvenile. But there's something about a outlet to express.
Anyway. Back to my original thought.
How can God forgive me all those times knowing I'm going to fall again? Soon. He is so long-suffering with me. I don't understand. But I do appreciate it. Maybe THIS time I'll have learned my lesson. Maybe THIS time I will throw off that pet sin and replace it with Christ.
I hope so. I pray so.
And some silly things from today:
-Heels can make you feel pretty and girly...especially if they're pink.
-I like spending time with my family and I sure do miss them when they're gone.
-The beach is calling me. (Danielle...I might be coming your way!)
-I lost my crochet needle.
-Politics wear me out.
-Some people will talk to ANYBODY. (Joanna and I stopped to get a bite to eat at the cafeteria at Watermark and this guy was talking to anybody and everybody. I learned that he drag races for a living. He owned a restaurant called Shut Up and Eat. He has someone else running that restaurant and is living off the interest alone. He thinks Joanna and I are twins. He loves shrimp.)
I'm supposed to be running to practice for a marathon that Stacey and I are doing in a few years. Have I even walked? Absolutely not. So I decided that I'm going to walk/run at least 3 times a week for starters.
I mean it.
And finally. Do you have a person in your life that you share things with and they always had a different perspective than anyone else? And it was always a good thing. Like you could get the same answer out of 20 people and this person would say the same thing but with different words, in a different way and it would be the decision maker or breaker.
I am just amazed, thankful, blessed for the people God puts in my life.
1 year ago
2 comments:
Hey, I have a friend like that - we do bible study together! =)
Sorry about your week...thankful for our gracious Lord.
Heels make me feel pretty (and taller) but walking the Riverwalk 2 nights in a row with them on gives me blisters. yep. big 'uns.
hey friend...yes, I understand exactly what you mean about "pet sins"...God has been teaching me a ton about that, and its NOT been pretty!! sometimes all i can do is beg God to make Himself more glorious than anything/body/else...
and im going to the beach this weekend...jump in and come!
Post a Comment