My Thoughts. My Day.

1. Due to complete exhaustion and lack of sleep, I decided to have a Cafe Americano, extra shot from Starbucks today. And extra shot, I found out later, means that is has 3 shots of espresso in one cup. My heart has been racing for about 2 hours straight, I've been talking WAY too loud, and I can't feel my lips. Should I be worried.

2. People who think only of themselves have had no compassion from me today. I wonder if tough love is the best way to handle those who think they are the only people in the world.

3. I've been thinking about oreos ever since Stacey said she had some for our Bible study.

4. My neice thinks that any man with a long beard looks like God. She's never seen God and we don't show her the typical pictures of Jesus that are floating around and have even told her that we can't know what God looks like. Yet she has this image that God has a beard in her little 3 year old mind. She's too cute!

5. I've almost paid off my car.

6. I saw the Pompeii exhibit at the art museum this weekend and it made me sad. Such a loss of life!

7. I'm making egg salad tonight.

8. I've not read ONE book that I'm supposed to be reading. Instead I'm caught up in this series of Christian romance fiction. Maybe when I'm through I'll be a little more motivated.

9. I've wondered all day today why God looks at my black heart and loves me anyway. Makes me love Him all the more for His grace. His mercy. Thinking about it makes me want to sing...
"Unfailing love flows from His heart and heals my soul. In spite of who I am, He loves and makes me whole. I almost can't believe it's true, unfailing love. And yet I know He gave His life to give to me. Unfailing love."

10. I want a camera that has a good zoom. Any ideas where I could find an affordable one?


So there are the musings of my mind today. Just a few of them.

What Wondrous Love Is This?

Where does a sinner begin to talk about the love of God that's been bestowed on her? How does one put into words the realization that Christ has covered His child with His own righteousness?

Hosea was told by God to take to wife a woman who was a whore, a well-known whore. A woman who was unloved, unappreciated, used, empty. And Hosea obeyed. Taking her and showing her a love that she'd never known. A love that filled the emptiness in her heart.
What a beautiful picture of the love that God shows me. I, who sought after things of this world, whoring after things that would not give me peace, never really knowing love until He gave it to me. He filled that empty place in my heart that only His love could have filled. He showed me mercy when I should have had death. He gave grace when I deserved wrath. He gives me faith so that I can stand strong against the foe of this world who would remind me of who I was.
How can I express in words this wondrous love? How can I explain to another this love of God?

"What wondrous love is this, O my soul, O my soul!
What wondrous love is this, O my soul!
What wondrous love is this that caused the Lord of bliss
To bear the dreadful curse for my soul, for my soul
To bear the dreadful curse for my soul."

Not my deserving.

Changing Perspective

Maybe I ought to change my perspective, how I see things, how I react, how I live.

I was reminded tonight that Christ, our Messiah, is King. The Jews didn't view Him as Messiah King then or now and wondering about their beliefs got me wondering about my own. Christ didn't come in as a king like they knew...full of pomp, splendor, regal...so He must not be the King that they'd waited on for so long. Jesus, instead, was humble, meek, a servant and didn't fit their descriptions at all.
If the Jews used the worldly description of a king, I wonder how do I use the world's descriptions in my own life?

Contentment-
The world would tell us that it's being married with 2 1/2 kids, an SUV and a minivan and a worry free life. God tells me to be content in all things. Implying that I must even be content in all circumstances, good or bad, even when I would be prone to worry or fret.

Joy-
The world tells us we obtain joy when we can get all we want. Whether it's the ultimate burger, physical shape, car or job. God's tell me that I can be joyful simply because Christ paid the debt for my sins and I now have life eternal. What else could give me more joy?

Peace-
The world offers us no peace. God has sent me the Prince of Peace that speaks to my heart with a still, small voice.

Hope-
The world gives us hope in carnal things that will not last (money, goods) or in people that will fail us. God gives me hope in His promises that all He says will come to pass. He will never leave me. He will never forsake me. He will never fail me.

Changing my perspective in just a few ways could possibly change my whole outlook on life. I wonder how much more could God use me if I would just view a few things unlike the world.

God's Will. My Life

Isn't it strange that God's will for our lives can be almost the complete opposite of our own. Isn't it interesting to know that God would allow an obstacle to come my way for my good, yet all I, and the world, sees is seemingly bad.

I think of Job who lived righteous before God and yet God allowed Satan to tempt him and to take away all the he loved and held dear. All for what reason? For Job's good and God's glory.

None of this makes sense to me but I'm content in placing my life in the hands of One who loves me so. One who guides my life as He sees fit because He will receive glory and I will recieve good. It's a contentment that I can't explain and no one else will understand unless they are in this state.

I love that I have a Creator who is sovereign and ultimate control.

Behind A Frowning Providence He Hides a Smiling Face

I have the sweetest little 17 month old girl at my church who has Down's syndrome. Just playing with her Sunday and seeing what a funny personality she has really gets me thinking about her situation and my reaction to God's will and providences.
Though I would never pray that a child would have Down's syndrome, I now know that I would also never pray that Down's be taken away from a child who's been diagnosed. That little girl has such a unique calling on her life and glorifies God in a way that I can't. She sees life differently than I do. She views life in a way that will forever be innocently child-like. She will always look for the good in people. She will always love unconditionally.

Thinking about her makes me think of another family I know who has a child with Down's. When the father was told that his child, who had just been born had Down's syndrome, he just smiled.
Smiled?!
I could have imagined myself crying, being silent, mourning...but to smile at the news? Yet he understood God's will and accepted it.
I had a different view of God's providences then but in this past year I am just beginning to see that behind every seemingly hideous providence thrown my way is something beautiful. And I am learning to smile.

And that dear child who is part of my church...I can't help but smile when I think of her, even now. If God has a smiling face behind all His providences why can't I have a smiling face as they come my way?

Just a little food for thought.

Laughter

I've just been thinking about how we all need laughter in our lives at some point and time. My sister-in-law and I were talking about spiritual men and how they sometimes get so into theology that they forget to have a personality. She knew one who lost his sense of humor, was dull and viewed everything as a sin because of his study of Scripture. Interesting to think about as we all desire to dig deeper into God's Word.

At what point do we forget life and living and just focus on the study of God? And is that wrong? Just a little something I've been thinking on tonight.

My own thought is that we need each other and staying locked away in a room studying will only make us...well...weird. There's really no other word for it.
We need interaction with other believers who will hold us accountable and even unbelievers who will challenge us. We seem to be social creatures who desire fellowship at some point and time, though I know that there are times we desire quiet as well.
We need to receive love and give love. There's just something about seeing someone you love, especially when they are 5 months old and smile at every word you say.
We need laughter. You can have a thousand troubles that plague you, but they seem so distant when you laugh with someone. Even if it is for just a moment. Laughter loosens you up. Laughter makes a heavy heart light. Laughter with a person is a forever memory.

I can't explain why this has been on my heart this evening. But I do delight in looking back and laughing again at the memories.

New Year

How can I abide in Christ? How can I say that I am resting in Him?

I've found a sweet rest, a sweet repose in giving all my cares to the Great Provider and resting fully in His grace. To be "in Him" is more than a just a line that we hear so many speak about, it's a calm, peace-filled rest knowing that He is sovereign that makes me sing "Hallelujah, What a Saviour! Hallelujah, What a Friend!"
How can I be anxious when He is near? How can I be ungrateful when He has given me so much? I can only praise Him, thank Him that He looked on me, unworthy though I am, and takes delight in showing me mercy.

Knowing this, understanding this is how I can abide and rest in Him. I pray that I never forget this as I start out my new year.