One Topic To The Next

Have you ever looked back on a few days and wondered why did I do that? I've worked some long hours this week and really haven't had time to do anything, read anything or even pray. I've just been too exhausted. And because I haven't read, prayed or slept like I needed to, it makes the fight against sin a lot harder.




Do you have a particular sin that you just keep repeating over and over and over? You know it's wrong. You do it anyway.

And why? You know you're just going to feel guilty and beg forgiveness. But it's like the temptation is just too strong. My pastor calls these "pet sins". Sins that we just can't give up because they're too precious to us. Why can't God be that precious to me?

And what's even more amazing than the fact that I don't learn after about a million times of doing wrong is that my heart is convicted, I run to God for forgiveness and He grants me forgiveness. All those million times. Now if that's not grace amazing and mercy overflowing then I'm not sure what is. I was so upset over my selfishness and God's mercy that I wrote a poem. A poem to express my distress. To show my black heart and God's overwhelming love. The kind of deep love that's underneath me, all around me.

When I was younger I used to write poems all the time. I found that I could express myself better in poetry than just words on paper. I rarely showed those poems to anyone and probably couldn't even find them now. In fact, I probably don't want to find them because they're rather juvenile. But there's something about a outlet to express.


Anyway. Back to my original thought.
How can God forgive me all those times knowing I'm going to fall again? Soon. He is so long-suffering with me. I don't understand. But I do appreciate it. Maybe THIS time I'll have learned my lesson. Maybe THIS time I will throw off that pet sin and replace it with Christ.

I hope so. I pray so.




And some silly things from today:
-Heels can make you feel pretty and girly...especially if they're pink.
-I like spending time with my family and I sure do miss them when they're gone.
-The beach is calling me. (Danielle...I might be coming your way!)
-I lost my crochet needle.
-Politics wear me out.
-Some people will talk to ANYBODY. (Joanna and I stopped to get a bite to eat at the cafeteria at Watermark and this guy was talking to anybody and everybody. I learned that he drag races for a living. He owned a restaurant called Shut Up and Eat. He has someone else running that restaurant and is living off the interest alone. He thinks Joanna and I are twins. He loves shrimp.)





I'm supposed to be running to practice for a marathon that Stacey and I are doing in a few years. Have I even walked? Absolutely not. So I decided that I'm going to walk/run at least 3 times a week for starters.

I mean it.




And finally. Do you have a person in your life that you share things with and they always had a different perspective than anyone else? And it was always a good thing. Like you could get the same answer out of 20 people and this person would say the same thing but with different words, in a different way and it would be the decision maker or breaker.

I am just amazed, thankful, blessed for the people God puts in my life.

Life

Do you ever feel like life is too complicated? I'm struggling with this issue of living in the world but not like the world. It's not as easy as it sounds. I work at an OBGYN office and though we're a Christian office there are a lot of patients that aren't. Surprisingly, I hear all kinds of language, crudeness and stories that would make you blush and yet I have to be professional. How can I filter through the bad and pick out what needs to be addressed? These women aren't coming to us for a sermon but for health care. At what point do I say..enough!
Drinking adult beverages in public. Does a stranger assume that because I am holding a beer or a glass of wine in my hand that I'm a sot? I don't have a problem with drinking in moderation but if I drink in public am I giving off a different impression?
How about secular music. There are so many songs out that are encouraging, uplifting, even spiritual sounding but if the artist is an atheist or a womanizer hooked on drugs and alcohol am I endorsing them by enjoying and buying their music?


Disclaimer:*I randomly chose three topics. I am not picking on one issue over another nor am I thinking about anyone in particular when I write about these things*


These are all tough questions and I have to be careful to not be a legalist when I address these issues in my heart. I want to be a light in this dark world. I want others to see me and see that there's something different about me, something peaceful. I want to be out and about enjoying good music, enjoying a glass of wine, working at my job but show forth Christ in my life. I speak out but sometimes I wonder if I speak out enough. Am I living my life differently than the world?

As I'm out in the world I really need to pray that God would show me wisdom in each situation. That He would use me to pull out the good and throw away the bad in everything I do. I want to love my patients and be bold in saying that I don't want to hear the unnecessary. I want to be able to enjoy that adult beverage while showing moderation. I want to love the beautiful song and speak up against the writer/artist who does not acknowledge his Creator.



I just don't know how to do that. Any thoughts? Any suggestions?


And then I wonder if it's possible to please everybody. I'm sure there are some who would be offended that I listen to the radio. And some would never drink in public but wouldn't mind it in the privacy of their own home. Some wouldn't listen to the patient because of her foul mouth and never get to the root of her problem. I don't want to be this person. Instead of being worried about what people are thinking, I want to be worried about what God thinks of me. Yet I have a reputation to uphold and others are watching. People watch more than you think.

Am I all over the place with these thoughts? Are they making sense to anybody?


I just need to pray that God would guide me, show me what I'm supposed to say, when I supposed to say it. I pray for conviction when I'm wrong and discernment to pick through the filth of this world and pull out what was meant for good. I pray for understanding for those are around me and boldness to speak up for truth. I pray for wisdom.



Does anybody else struggle with these things?

Bob That Head

A friend at work had two tickets to see Rascal Flatts in Atlanta last night. She wasn't able to go and when I heard that she was GIVING them away, I mentioned that I might be interested.

Ok. I practically begged her to think about me if she was seriously giving them away.

She did give them to me (!!) and I started on my quest to find another person to go. The first that came to mind was already going and I figured that Mona (from work) was always on the prowl for something random to do on the weekend, so I asked her.

She said yes!!!

We had planned on meeting up after work on Friday since we only had a half a day we thought that we could leave around 2:00, 2:30 and make it to Atlanta before all the traffic. I'm here to say that that did not happen. Work delayed us so we left right at 3:00 with wet hair and no makeup, starving and adrenalin pumping. We did get something to eat pretty quick and made good time to Atlanta despite the late start.

Mapquest gave us great directions and even took us around the traffic and we pulled in with time to spare. Parking was so expensive but a girl can't complain when she didn't have to pay for tickets.

It was about a 10 minute walk to Lakewood Amphitheatre and we stood in line for about an hour and a half to get in. When we finally made it to the front and they checked our bag (my trusty backpack), we were informed that backpacks are not allowed and we would have to take it back to the car. I nicely informed that lady this was an inconvenience but took my backpack all the way back to the car while Mona waited on me. In the mean time my other friends who are already in are probably wondering where I am and the concert is close to starting.

I decided to just walk all the way back up the front of the line and not wait since I already had which made a lady behind me very angry. I told her that I had already waited for 90 minutes like she had and was sent away.

She didn't care. She talked ugly about me until I got through the gates. Thankfully I ignored her and didn't turn around and slap her which is what the old Susanna would have done. Only the saving grace of God turns a heart around so that I show love instead of hatred and anger.

Taylor Swift opened the concert and really put on an interesting show. She is a unique performer and has different songs that are so catchy.

During the intermission we looked for my friends a few times and never did find them. Sad!! I really wanted to see them. Sorry friends!!!

(they were somewhere around here...)

And then...

The drum roll starts. Getting louder. And LOUDER! Fireworks shoot up from the stage, the curtain falls and there they are. Up on a lift...

RASCAL FLATTS!!!!

Mona and I screamed and screamed and hugged and screamed some more. We were like a two high schoolers. But that's alright because we had a blast!!!

They sang all my favorite songs and we sang right along with them. There are few videos and much more pictures on facebook if you'd like to check them out.

The crowd was really neat where we were sitting. It looked like lots of families and couples who just wanted to watch the concert. But that wasn't the case all over. It seemed like the further back you got the more, how can I tackfully say this... interesting the people got. I don't understand the need to dress trashy and over-indulge in drinking to have a good time. And I was sad to hear one of the group using language that they don't use in their songs and talking about girls in Atlanta in a way that they don't portray in their music. Seeing trashy people and hearing foul language was a turn off but I really enjoyed the singing.

I had a blast and really enjoyed Mona going with me. Thanks Mona!!!

We did leave the concert a little early to look for the tour bus with no luck. I even asked a guy behind one of the fences where they were. He pointed to the back of the amphitheatre but when I asked him if we could get back there he said no. We knew he'd say that but at least we knew where they were and tried really hard to get back there and see them.

We left Atlanta in heavy traffic with big smiles on our faces, blisters on our feet, wearing Rascal Flatts t-shirts and lots of pictures and memories. I'm glad I went and owe a BIG thank you to my friend, my coworker who participated in such a fun-filled evening.