A Nice Quiet Shower, Please

This mommy just wants a shower.
A nice quiet, hot shower. With no interruptions.

Since I have two kiddos, a quiet, long shower is a thing of the past. I just can't seem to find a solution.
Here's what I've tried.


1. Both kids sleeping.
Doesn't work. One of them will wake up. Always.

2. Sister in her bed (a mini-crib) and Jud roaming.
Doesn't work. Jud throws things in her bed that she can "play" with...daddy's shoes, a clothespin, all of his blankets and snuggies, his vacuum cleaner, all of his diapers.

3. Jud in his bed and sister in her bed.
Doesn't work. He tosses things at her. And if you don't put things in his bed to play with, he'll shake his bed, yell and bang on the wall. We have neighbors. I'm pretty sure they don't like us.

4. Jud roaming and sister in the travel cot.
Doesn't work. He will still "give" her things to play with. She will still cry. He will still be disciplined.

5. Jud in the travel cot.
He climbs out.
6. Jud roaming and sister in HIS bed. (he has a regular size crib and it's harder to get to her...I thought.)
I thought this was the best idea since sliced bread. I got a 10 minute shower before I had to get out and discipline a little boy for shoving things through the rungs and tossing them as high as he could to get them in the bed. She had every pacifier we own, but she didn't seem appreciative. Not to mention, when I told him to just come in the bathroom with mommy, he took that to mean, get mommy's shoes and put them under the running water.


All of these suggestions also include stopping to discipline a little boy. He doesn't get to do these things and get away with them. But he sure can come up with lots of ideas on how to get mommy's attention.
-flush the toilet...over and over and over
-unroll the toilet paper
-carry around the plunger and toilet brush...maybe give it to sister
-gather up all the rugs and put them in the closet
-somehow reach the tooth brushes and put them in the trash
-take all the dirty clothes out of the hamper and throw them around in the bathroom
-empty the trashcan...in the tub


Sometimes I wonder if it's just my child. Sometimes I wonder if I was the same way.

Any ideas to help?