Abide With Me

Our Sweet Chet

2010-08-14T10:00:00.000-07:00

Chet Wood has gone on to her reward. She was one of the spunkiest women I've met, but she loved her Lord, her family and politics...in that order.

She and her husband had a calling on their lives to spread the Gospel through a tape ministry and that they did well. The Gospel has been spread, through the messages on tape, throughout this country and who knows how many others. She made sure that if there was a good message preached that she had it on tape to share with others.
I have fond memories of her signing my name up for a message preached when I wasn't there and hunting me down to personally give me my tape. I laugh when I think about how she and Bug would take up the paper that you could sign up for before Bill (another saint gone on to glory) could get back there to sign his name and he would run after them to make sure his name was on there. It got to be a competition to see who could get to that paper first for them. I miss those three.

She never hesitated to pray for her family and to ask for prayer if there was a need. She loved her daughter and son. She loved her grandchildren. It was obvious.
She loved her church family too and they loved her right back. You couldn't help it. There wasn't a Sunday that she didn't hug my neck and kiss my face. I would look for her just to get that hug and kiss. Even when I helped cut their grass, I would still get a hug and kiss...no matter how dirty I was.
I can vividly remember her looking up at our pastor, placing her hand on his face and thanking him for the message. She did that often. Oh, how she loved the men of God who brought the Word! Not just our current pastor but even our founding pastor. When he would visit she never failed to tell him how much he meant to her.

She also loved politics, good politics. She spent countless hours searching for men of God who desired to bring the country back to a nation built on the Word of God. She prayed for them and sent out email after email to all of us letting us know who these men were.
I remember coming to her house to cut her yard one summer day and there she was, outside with a man who looked a bit uncomfortable. He was going door to door "politicing" (as she would say) and didn't know that Ms Chet knew her stuff and she was giving him all she had, encouraging him to run for office and do what was right in the eyes of the Lord. Bug had long since gone back in the house because Chet had it handled. That poor guy looked ready to leave but she wasn't through with him. I think he was never glad to see people cutting a yard as much as he did that day. I just pray that her words of wisdom to that lost soul was a seed planted.

But that's what we have now. Just memories until one day when we too can see our Saviour face to face. Chet longed for this day. She would say "I can't wait to get to heaven to see my Saviour and be reunited with my Bug." She loved her husband but she loved her Saviour more. What a Godly woman we had in our midst and I'll miss her. Oh, how I miss her. But I wouldn't wish her back for one instant and will patiently wait the day when I too will see my Saviour and be reunited with those I love.

Chet Wood was Godly, classy and absolutely lovely. I love you, Ms Chet. Until we meet again...

What Does It Mean To Be Saturated In The Word?

2010-08-08T18:02:00.000-07:00

Is it just to read your Bible every day?

Is it to memorize familiar verses?

Is praying on occasion enough?

Or....

is it to be so full of the Word that it consumes my thoughts, pours out of my mouth, overflows into my actions and interrupts my daily duties on this earth.
How can I feel the love of God "underneath me, all around me" if I don't study the only book that points me to that love? How can I have hope if I'm not grabbing at the only book that offers hope? How can I have joy if I don't read the book that shows me Who died to give me that joy?

Lord, may I yearn to be in Your Word. Saturated, so that Your love, hope, joy pours out to those around me.

Motorized Mania

2010-05-14T20:01:00.000-07:00

So I go to Walmart every so often.

Fine. I go like 2-3 times a week. I have needs.

I'm starting to see a trend when it comes to the motorized carts that they provide for the HANDICAP, ILL, ELDERLY. (I placed them in large letters in case you misunderstood the purpose of the carts.)

They are for those who can't walk, or can't walk for long distances.

They are not for:
-racing
-pregnant women
-teenagers or anyone who cannot drive a car, buy cigarettes/alcohol or even vote.
-convenience because you've had a hard day at work and don't feel like walking.

As I walked through the store just a few weeks ago, I was literally nearly run down by one of those carts. She barely missed me. The driver...a girl who couldn't even have been even 14 years old. I gave her my standard dirty look of "Hey. Watch where your goin' chick!" and went on my way.

I round another corner, and she comes flying by AGAIN and almost hits me AGAIN.

Unfortunately, I speak before I think. A lot. So I said, "I have a feeling that you don't really need to be on that thing. Are you disabled? Does your mother know your driving around here like that? What if you hit a child? You need to get off that and I mean now."

She smiles at me with such a sickeningly "I don't care what you think" smile and flies off.

Since I spoke so kindly to her, she went to tell her mother...who was also riding a cart AND her younger brother, who brought up the rear on his. They followed me all. over. the store thinking they intimidated me, I guess. I did mention to the young girl that I was going to find a manager since she obviously had no disability except disrespect and laziness. Not one manager was to be found! How convenient. *insert sarcasm*

I don't know if you can tell, but this really gets my goat. Three motorized carts driven by three inconsiderate people who couldn't care less that someone might really need one.

What is this world coming to?!

And then to top it off!...we saw a pregnant lady riding on one today. She happened to be our patient, so I know for a fact that she did NOT have any disabilitating issues and she wasn't even close to term.

Call me naive and misinformed, but the last I checked carrying an unborn child did not deem you disabled.

The moral of this bog...don't ride unless you got a reason. Period.

I will call you out.

The Key

2010-04-08T19:56:00.000-07:00

Hello blog. It's been a while.

A lot has been going on in this past year, but what weighs heaviest on my mind is the diagnosis of cancer, metastisized cancer, in my dear pastor's wife.
Not only is Colleen my pastor's wife, but she's my long-time friend. A woman that is very much like my sister/aunt and has been for most of my life...long before she was my "pastor's wife". I knew her newly married, when kids where just a prayer on her lips. I saw her in the hospital with each of her four girls. I have cried and laughed along with her. I knew her when holidays were exciting because "Mark and Colleen were coming over!". She was family to us, to me. She still is.

But I struggled with the diagnosis of metastisized cancer. And I had no idea the range of emotions I would experience, or the lessons I would learn/be learning.

For me, it started with shock. You just don't know what to think, when to think.You don't know how to pray. I told myself that I was acceptant of God's will but these little spurts doubt kept creeping in. It wasn't long before I started getting angry whenever I would talk about it or think about it or pray about it. But I couldn't figure out who I was angry at, or why.

There was no way I was angry at Mark or Colleen because they bathe every decision in prayer and seek God's will for all they do. I couldn't be angry at God...or so I thought. I found myself saying that I was angry at cancer. But if you think about it, that makes no sense.

Coming to realize where my anger originated, who it was against, repentance, contentment, peace came one night at church when someone spoke of reading Pilgrim's Progress with their family.

In Pilgrim's Progress, Christian ends up in Doubting Castle which was guarded by the Giant Despair. Christian had no hope for escape and only death to look forward to. But he remembered that he had a key called Promise that he kept in his bosom and it would unlock any door.

It took remembering that small part of a book (my favorite part, might I add), to show me that I was angry at God. Angry that He would allow Colleen to have cancer. Angry that it wasn't found sooner. Angry that it had metastized. Angry that their therapies didn't work. Angry that it wasn't me even.

I was just plain mad. Completely pushing against the will of God.

Now, you ask, what does any of this have to do with doubting castle and the key of Promise.

God allowed them to go through such a valley to show me that I had locked myself in a castle of despair. My anger was nothing more than pride and it locked me into despair that went much deeper than my anger.

How did I get there? How did I get from contentment to anger so quickly? I still don't know but I'll consider it a lesson learned, a valley that has taken me back to mountains of peace.

And even more good news!!!

We too have the Key of Promise. Promises that He will never leave us or forsake us. Promises that all is for His glory and our good. Promises of healing, whether on this earth on in heaven. Promises of eternity with no diseases, including the most terrible disease of sin.

What a relief to know His will will be done and I can honestly say that's good enough for me.

Something Old, Something New

2009-08-25T17:47:00.001-07:00

Someone reminded me that there is nothing new under the sun. How true that is as we see hard time coming to this nation and remember that this world has seen hard times before. But God's church always prevails. Such a sweet comfort to my heart to know that God reigns.

We need to humble ourselves and pray, folks.

Update:

I have a new nephew. He was born 07/20/09 and has been the sweetest little baby! He was named William David and we all call him Will. His daddy calls him Will-I-Am and his sister calls him...new baby. (ha!) I wonder how in the world my brother and sister-in-law do it. Taking care of 3 kids, 3 and under, definitely keeps a person running.

I also got to be in a c/section with one of my friends! I had forgotten how wonderful the mirable of life really is. May we never forget that getting here, in one piece, perfectly healthy is a miracle.

And friends from church had their 5th...a baby girl!! She's has the sweetest little face and I will never forget her older sister's face when she first came in the room looking for her new sister. Priceless.

Aren't babies wonderful! *sigh*

2009-08-08T18:35:00.000-07:00

The state of affairs these days are kind of scary, don't you think? Especially if we would sit and think about what could be, remember what has been or even see what is occuring in our world right now.

If we would let it, thinking about our leaders (and I use that term loosely) could put us into a state of fear. If we would let it.

Thankfully, we don't have to live in a state of fear. We can, instead, live life knowing that we have a Sovereign Who reigns over all--that includes you, Mr O.--and can allow things to continue, or change the heart of a leader with just one thought, or one word.

And that brings me to another thought.

I hear so many ranting about our President, forgetting that God has allowed him to be there for a purpose. No, I didn't vote for him and no, I don't agree with just about everything he stands for, but he is my authority (I'm SO thankful he's not the Authority though *whew!*) and I must pray for him.

Do you know how hard it is to pray for someone you don't like? I just have to keep reminding myself that Saul of Tarsus once persecuted, hunted down and killed Christians, but by the grace of God (what a beautiful phrase!), He saw fit to bring him to his knees and save him, change his heart and give him the zeal to spread the gospel just as he was once spreading lies, death and destruction.

Is there any reason to think that God couldn't perform such a miracle again? So I pray, and I encourage you to pray, that He will work in the life of our country's leader(s), put someone in their path that will speak truth to them, bring them to their knees and use their power and God-given authority for the glory of God.

History proves that the church flourishes in persecution, not in apathy, so I pray, Pray, PRAY that this little bit of persecution now is enough to point us, as a nation, to Christ.

Dr Bill

2009-07-14T19:59:00.001-07:00

It's hard to say that I'm sad when a brother/sister in Christ passes away. I can't miss them because I know where they are. I shouldn't be sad because they aren't.

Right?

But I do miss those who go before us to Paradise. One of the kindest men I know was taken Home last week and I miss him.
And I'll tell you why.

-He never failed to hug and kiss my face EVERY Sunday.

-He told me (almost every Sunday) that if he was 40 years younger he would talk to my dad.

-He was concerned about my health and told me so every chance he got.

-He truly showed forth Christ in all he did and said.

-He loved his Lord, loved his church and loved his family...physical and spiritual.

-His smile was infectious and genuine.

And those are just a few....

Love you Dr Bill!

Change My Heart, O God

2009-06-25T20:40:00.000-07:00

You ever been fussed at. The person giving you the piece of their mind is really in the wrong and all you want to do is point that out in a kind voice...while holding them in a half-nelson.

The old Susanna would have done definitely administered the choke hold but would have never used the kind voice. I actually told someone today that I was sorry (?!) despite the fact that I didn't really do anything wrong. Soft words were heard instead of the truth.

But my purpose in telling you this is not to show how good I am but how good God is. As I thought back to this episode and my reaction I was really shocked to remember kind words coming from my mouth.

Reflecting on all this surprisingly comforted my heart as I see how God has done a work in my life, assuring me that I am His because the Susanna before Christ wouldn't have reacted in such a way.

Thank you Lord for showing me your work in my life even in hard situations and reminding a hurt heart that Your love is "underneath me, all around me".

Refreshergy. Happy Times. Lovin' Life.

2009-06-09T19:21:00.000-07:00

I think I've finally figured out why I haven't blogged in a while. I've actually been kind of busy, which I didn't realize until I started going through my pics for just one month.

The month of May has been full of laugher, reminicing, happy tears, graduations, dancing, games, a mountain, fellowship, family, friends.

The graduation was the most exciting this year because a precious girl who I've known since birth (ahhhhhh! I'm so old!!!), graduated from high school. I couldn't believe how much I cried. She's beautiful, her heart is gracious, her personality delightful and her smile infectious. Congratulations Elizabeth!

Lanie had her dance recital--3rd year--and did great! She loves to dance and always has. She had two dances this year and successfully did both. I particularly loved when she went up to get her award and said into the microphone, "My name is Alayna and I'm 5. years. old." Adorable. I was in the balcony but I'm pretty sure she heard her Aunt Susanna cheering for her.

A few friends, my sister and I decided to go to Oak Mountain this year for Memorial Day which was beautiful! We first canoed a little as we waited for the rest of our company to meet up with us. When Joanna and I ventured out, our other friends had just arrived so we rowed over to see them. Unfortunately, we have super rowing skills and rowed right into a giant bush on the shore line. I attempted to row us backward. Joanna just laughed.

All this rain has really payed off because Peavine Falls were the biggest I've seen. We hiked (if you call it that...we barely got out of breath) down to the falls and played around the waterfall, found a salamander, took pictures and then walked down the creek a little ways to find a pool that was a little deeper. There was a God-made rock slide that went right into this pool which made the water all the more inviting. Joanna and her friend were the only ones that slid though. I'm chicken if the water's too cold.

Then we had a good time looking at God's creation and wondering how anyone could not see that this world has a Creator with a special design in mind.

We headed down to the beach at Oak Mountain lake which was packed with people. Once again...didn't get in the water...too cold...and I didn't want to get my hair wet.

We brought a volleyball and since there were 6 of us, we played a few games of 3-on-3. Little did we know but there was a family watching us, wanting to play. After about our 3rd game, an interesting character approached us asking if we wanted to play their family since they had six who wanted to play. We figured--hey, 6-on-6, that's a real volleyball game. We're in--little did we know how eccentric the family was. I'll refrain from commenting on the different personalities, but I will say that we had opportunity to witness.

Our few games of playing the "interesting" family brought a crowd and, according to the family member, the next group would play the winner. Us. So we played a group of teenage girls who cheated horribly and still lost. Then a group of Mexicans that were a lot of fun. Then, what I will call the melting pot of Oak Mountain...there were 4 gentlemen from India, 2 Mexicans and 2 from our "interesting" family.

I'm sad to say. They beat us. Our last game and we didn't win!!

But we had fun. And I fell. Which is just par for the course. How can sand cause a scrape on my leg that looks like rug burn?!

This trip to Oak Mountain was so refreshing though. I used to go up there all the time with my cousin but work and life has kept me so busy that I haven't been up there in years. It made me reflect on how busy I keep myself and how I need to stop and refresh the soul sometimes, remembering my Creator and remembering that my life is but a vapor. All this makes me thankful for the days I've had and the times of rest that come just when I need them.

We serve a loving God, don't we?

...and that was the month of April.

2009-05-26T18:02:00.001-07:00

There've been a few fun things that went on since my last post. I'll see if I can catch you up.

1. Lanie turned 5!! She had a princess party and it was, thankfully, uneventful. By that, I mean no injuries. We usually have some kind of story about the birthday parties and I'm just glad this one went off nicely. Daniel kept his eyebrows, no children were almost suffocated in the moon walk because of adults trying to jump and no balloons were accidentally set free before the party even began.

2.I went to see the Gardners in Colorado!! I can't even begin to tell you how much I miss that family. I had a 10 year old flying buddy and ever since we've been back we've been planning our next trip out there. We might even decide to fly to England one time just for fun--it's just one of the places we both want to visit, so why not go together, right?
While we were out there we:
-played kickball (beating the boys 5-0 one time, and 10-0 the next time!!)
-ate a lot of good food (Marie is a great cook and I love, love, LOVE her pimento cheese spread!)
-went window shopping which turned into people watching. Colorado is quite liberal...and interesting.
-I got to ski!! I never made it off the bunny slope, but I don't care. I had a blast!
-saw the Rockies and they. are. breath-taking. The weird thing is, they're pretty rocky. Like, very little grass and trees.
-kissed Mary Morgan every day. That baby girl is just precious!

3. I got to see Wicked, musical!! It. was. amazing! I didn't think I would like it as much as I did, but now I can't wait to see it again. Then we found the outside stage door and waited for the cast to take pics and meet them. Very fun!

4. We just finished up ball season so we've spent a lot of nights at the ballfield. Josh's team did better this year. He played 3rd base or left field and we got to cheer really loud and embarass him like we always do.

And here are a few pics of my nieces and nephews. You know. The ones I always talk about. They are pretty cute, I think.

A Method To My Madness

2009-03-27T18:09:00.000-07:00

I know my blog url address is a bit long and my title seems a bit odd so I thought I'd explain myself since I did actually put some thought into my choices. My reasons:

1. I like them. Do I need a better reason than that?

2. I see now that they spark conversation and I'm pretending that that was one my original reasons for choosing them.

3. When you suffer, whether with pain, loneliness, loss, emotional strain, depression (and I could go on with reasons to suffer)...you start to thinking. Sometimes you get to thinking about things you shouldn't.
When I have a bad day of hurting and I feel completely worn out, I wonder if God is even paying attention to me, if He even notices that I don't feel good. I know it's a silly thing to wonder, but in my flesh, I think it. Sadly, it usually occurs to me, after the fact, that God is there and He does care and He is paying attention. And that thought seems to come later, at church, or listening to my music long after my pity party has passed. So the url is a reminder for me and came from the last verse of the hymn Jesus I Am Resting, Resting...
"Ever lift Thy face upon me as I work and wait for thee;
Resting 'neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus, earth's dark shadows flee.
Brightness of my Father's glory, sunshine of my Father's face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting, fill me with Thy grace."

As I suffer, and as you suffer, we must, must remember that we are ever 'neath His smile; which is a wonderful thing to remember when our thoughts are of nothing good. And we should remember that "earth's dark shadows" do flee, though at the time we feel like they don't, or won't, or can't.

The title of my blog is another hymn that I'm not going to quote because of all the verses and I don't think I could pick just one verse. Abide With Me is the title of that hymn and once again it reminds me that there isn't a moment when He isn't near. If I ever feel He's far away it's because of my own thoughts, sins, emotions...not because He isn't actually near. I love the psalms, but there are some hymns that just speak my heart and speak to my heart in ways that I can't seem to put into words.

Those are my three reasons for my rather long url and odd blog title. Aren't you glad you know now?
Are you resting 'neath His smile?

A Few Days Of Refreshment

2009-03-22T20:21:00.000-07:00

I was delighted to house/dog/pregnant kitty-sit for a few days for friends and pretty excited to have a little alone time. I guess I didn't realize how alone I would be because I had no internet!!!! I was forced to actually find something else to do with my time other than checking emails, facebooking, blogging, and so on.
But I found this time to be even more refreshing than I'd hoped. I would walk the dog down a quiet road with woods on each side, watching her bolt after a squirrel as if her life depended it. I could stop and reflect on lovely trees, blue skies with fluffy white clouds, crisp spring air and thoughts of the Creator Who made such things for me to enjoy.

I am so caught up in my busy life at work, the tired drive home in traffic, a quick bite to eat before I fall into bed with my computer, hoping to keep some access with the outside world through my laptop before I lose consciousness...that I've seem to forget to just stop and, for lack of better phrasing, smell the flowers.
To just stand, looking up at, breathing deeply with my mind full of the God who delights in me. Well. It's overwhelming at times.

And not just that. These dear friends have a library!

Be still, my beating heart! Oh books, come to momma. So many...and yet I chose just one.

The quiet, the solitude did wonders for my worn out mind and it makes me wonder why I don't visit my family more often in Va where I could sit and rest the mind, soul, spirit. I do believe a trip is in order. Soon.
And thank you, wonderful God, for giving me this time to think on You, reflect on Your goodness to me and repent of not thinking on You more.

Then to make my time visiting this home even better...the cat had her kittens!!!! Four fluffy, adorable kittens! She had two late in the evening and I waited up for another hour and a half thinking there would be more. When two seemed to be it, I went on to bed but when I woke the next morning there were two more! Two calicos (females) and one black with a little bit of white and a solid white one (both males). I just can't stop looking at them and it reminds of when my own cat of 17 years, who's been gone for almost a year now, who had two litters a year for many years. I miss having kittens around. I almost wish I had told the family that there were only three kittens and steal one away to love. I wonder if I could talk my mother into another cat.
*sigh* kittens...babies....they're just wonderful, aren't they?

As I waited on the family to return, sitting on the steps of their open library, staring at the blue sky, blooming trees, feeling the wind blowing, watching that precious dog look for dead animals to bring up to me....wait, what?!

*gag!*

*Remember the blue skies. Remember the blue skies...*

Ever Tried to Put A Trampoline Together?

2009-03-14T18:52:00.000-07:00

My brother and his wife bought a trampoline for their kids on the day after Thanksgiving. I remember the date because I was there and, my sister and pregnant sister-in-law attempted to put in the back of a truck. By ourselves. It took a while. And it's been sitting in their garage ever since.

Maddie turned three on the 18th of February and we had her birthday party a few weekends after. For some reason, we decided to put that thing together. It seemed easy enough but when you get too many opinions together at one time it takes a LOT longer than it probably should have.

The first dilema was how to put the rods/bars in order. You would that "A" would go next to "B" and then comes "C". After discussion we all agreed that yes, that is the order they should go. But after we laid "C" down then what comes next? There was no "D", so the the debate began as to whether you would start back over with "A" or if you would place another "B" down and go backwards. Personally, I can't believe we even had the debate but it did last for approx. 20 minutes.

I also learned that no one wants to actually use a manual screwdriver. When you have a mechanic who uses power tools for a living, he is quick to share with you how much he does not like having twist a screwdriver. So the debate began again as to who would use the screwdriver...the one who uses one for a living (brother #1) or the one who was the owner of the screwdriver (brother #2).

*note...these "debates" were not held in a mean, arguementative manner but in the typical Vaughan way. We picked on the person mercilessly. So when brother #1 didn't want to use the manual screwdriver he just picked on brother #2 until he did it himself. And the onlookers laughed.

We, the onlookers, also took time to play a little basketball, making sure that the ball bounced towards those working....

...or read up on how to jump on a trampoline, including some fancy jumps. I particularly love the figurines.

Some would take a break and use the trampoline before it was in actual proper working order. Maybe they were just overly excited. They are definitely very good at pretending because they look authentic to me.

Once we got the frame together things seemed to move much faster. Brother #2 took charge of attaching the springs from the black jump-on part to the frame...because he was the owner...and we felt like we needed a break from all our supervising...and it's fun to watch people work.

Once we all had our first jump then we decided to be safe (as one should be) and put up the safety net. That took time too and the two oldest were volunteered into that thankless job.

But the end project was so nice. So fun. So fulfilling.

Who would have ever guessed that it would take 4 hours straight to put up a trampoline? Only the Vaughans.

I've Got A Friend Who Owns A Viper

2009-02-19T20:16:00.000-08:00

That's right. A Dodge Viper.

One of the most beautiful sports cars I've ever driven.

Ok. Fine. It's the only sports car I've ever driven. I had intended on just riding in it and next thing I know I'm in the driver seat heading ever-so cautiously around the parking lot.

We drove down a residential area just so I could get a feel of the clutch and warm up the tires. (apparently the tires have to get warm or you'll fish-tale at faster speeds)

I could not believe the looks we got. I hadn't even pulled out on the road yet and people were driving by honking horns and rolling down their windows to yell, "nice car!".

I felt like such a liar! It wasn't my car but my pet peeve of proper car etiquette required a smile, nod and thank-you wave. I suppose, just out of politeness I must pretend it's mine. Right?
At one point a young boy was running off his porch towards "our" car asking for a ride!

I just don't understand boys and cars. My friend, who is a fellow female, and I appreciate the beauty of the outside of the car and the fact that its black (which is very slimming) but it doesn't go much deeper than that.

We headed out towards the interstate since our tires were warm, my friend driving this time, and discovered that we decided to venture out at one of the worst times of the day...rush hour. That can make you a little nervous but most people steer clear of the sports car for some reason.
We hadn't been on the interstate long when I noticed a significantly older lady driving a Kia van passing us and to keep our status as "cool", admonished my friend to speed it up. (no offense towards those who drive Kia's or vans, but when your in a sports car doing 45-50 mph on the interstate?!....I think you get my drift)

I drove home and the top was off the car so my hair was, shall we say, wind-blown (which is just a nice word for "nasty rat's nest) and my hands frozen so that I could barely shift. But who cares!!! We were in a Viper!!!

*note*

I wouldn't suggest taking such a car to an outlet mall for a quick shopping excursion, finding a toy store that's going out of business and buying up large plastic toys. The trunk is nothing to talk about and what started as a short trip to the mall ended in a "where are we going to put all this stuff", now I'm riding with plastic buckets and shovels in my lap.

Sovereignty in Sickness and Sadness

2009-01-24T18:52:00.000-08:00

As our office comes up on the one year mark of when Dr Perry found out about his cancer, I can feel myself getting overwhelmed with sadness...because I miss him.

I was listening to a song that he liked to listen to in surgery earlier this week. It talked about getting to heaven first, waiting on the far side banks of Jordan. Kind of a bluegrass/gospel song by the Carter family. Really sweet song but sad as it reminds me of someone who's already in heaven that I miss a lot. Needless to say, I cried.
So when I got to work I was REALLY missing him and wishing he was here to talk to, pray with.

God has a way of giving me just what I need at just the right time. I sit down at work, tears still on my face, to check my emails and the short devotional that I get by email every morning messed up my pity party. God is just what I need, when I need. He's the One that comforts in sadness. He heals affliction, pain, sickness. He helps bear the cross. He is all I could ever want.

Wow. Talk about conviction as I want so desperately to see Dr Perry one more time because he was such a rock in my life, to realize that there is only One Rock. One who is greater than I. One who is greater than Dr Perry. One who can give me everything that my heart was desiring.

I had to share that with my coworkers during our devotional because I know that we're all suffering with the same type of broken heart. And then a new conviction hits me!

Someone shares a John Piper story of the sovereignty of God with the landing of the plane in the Hudson all the way to the inauguration of a new president with seemingly dark motives. If God is sovereign in the lining up of geese to fly into the two engines of plane, to the perfect belly landing in a cold Hudson River, to placing a pro-choice president over a nation, could he not be sovereign in healing the emotionally broken heart and healing the physically broken body of a sad, hurting girl? My woes seem kind of mild in comparison, don't you think. Yet He still cares. He still orchestrates all that goes on in my life.

It never ceases to amaze me as I look back and see how God works in my life.

The Gift Of Clumsiness

2009-01-18T17:31:00.001-08:00

That's right. I've got the gift.

So I'm at work, in a room with the doctor, patient and patient's husband. I think we're done and I'm unplugging the computer to take it out in the hall with me but my doc decides on an impromptu prayer. I'm ok with that.

So I plug back up the computer and turn to walk to the others to hold hands and pray but...
I trip over the cord and fall into the husband. They all start laughing and asking if I'm ok and I pretty much just want to pray and get out of there so I mumble something unintelligable and bow my head hoping they won't see my red face that seems to be getting redder and hotter as the seconds go by.

And what does my dear doctor do?! He starts his prayer with..."Dear Lord. Thank you for laughter and light moments in times of pain..."
I considered using all my strength to sqeeze his hand that I held in our circle of prayer but he might need it in surgery tomorrow.

Why do I have the gift?! And why do I use it almost every day?!

I Think About Blogging A Lot

2009-01-16T18:10:00.000-08:00

I'm always thinking about how I need to blog about this or that thought/occurance/funny story but never sit down and actually type it out. Wonder why that is? I'm not so busy that I can't take 15 minutes of my day to write. I think I'm just...dare I say it?...lazy.

Christmas/New Year's was wonderful. I am so thankful that my immediate family lives near (one brother is about 7 minutes down the road and the other is about 12 minutes). But even though they're near we kept the road hot, let me tell you. I'm convinced that children make holidays so much more enjoyable. I think my favorite quote was my 4 year old niece who wanted to play "Clean Santa" this year instead of "Dirty Santa". Such a doll.

I know that Christmas isn't about the material things but I got one of the best presents EVER!!! I asked for an iPod pretty much since October hoping to get some gift cards to the Apple store to go towards one. Instead, my family bought me one!!! One that holds ALL of the music I have!!

I. heart. my. iPod!!!!! Who knew I such a small item could give me such great happiness.

I have a song running through my head all day. Is that weird? I find myself randomly bursting out in song as I'm walking through the crosswalk to work, bringing stares from all in my path. Do I care? Not really.

I get a mini-devotional every morning by email and earlier this week I got one that stuck with me. It talked about holiness. That's right. Not my forte. I suppose what spoke most to me was that he (J.R.Miller) informed me that holiness begins with my thoughts.

"Unholiness is very subtle. It creeps in when we are not aware. It begins in the heart. At first it is but a thought, a moment's imagination, a passing emotion, or a desire. Hence the heart should be kept with unremitting diligence. Only pure and holy thoughts should be entertained."

I just never took holiness to that extent, thinking in such a shallow way that my actions proved holiness. Knowing deep in my heart that holiness begins so much sooner than what people see. Keeping my thoughts holy, pure....why is it so hard? Why wouldn't I want to think holy?

Oh the struggles.

Wow. It's Been A Long Time

2008-11-24T19:36:00.001-08:00

I guess I have a lot of catching up to do. I can't believe that it's been two months since I last blogged. What in the world have I been doing?!

I think I wanted something random to do (see previous post) and finally found a few things to occupy my weekends.

-I went to Tennessee to work at a doctor's office for day and stopped by Elvis' birthplace in Tupelo, MS. It was a special time for me as I learned SO much about the obsession that people have with him. I was....by far!!!....the youngest person there. While in the gift shop, the cashier noticed that someone dropped their Elvis Presley guitar pick and knowing that "someone would really miss this", went out to the bus to find it's owner. Come on! A guitar pick?!
I joke about it but it was kind of fun to visit and learn more about the King. He DID come from a humble home and really had to work his way up to the top.

-We had our Lordship conference and I am still amazed at the men we have locally who have a love, zeal, passion for the Lord and the Gospel. They are such leaders and it was a good time for me to fellowship and really take time out of a weekend to hear God's Word. And I got to see Ben Gardner who just enough to get us really missing the whole family.

-Josh turned nine this year!!!! He is such a sweet kid and I cannot believe that it's been nine years. He had a Spongebob birthday which was pretty uneventful. Suprising for the Vaughan's since we like to have some kind of something crazy happen at our get togethers. The moonwalk didn't collapse, topple over, nor did anyone try to die as it fell in on us. The cake made it through the party in a whole piece and Joanna didn't let any balloons fly away before the party started. I'm kind of sad that it was so low key. Maybe we're starting a new trend.

-Joanna and I decided to go see the Leonardo da Vinci exhibit one weekend and it turned into a "tour of Birmingham". At first we were just going to the exhibit but saw a pink fountain of water on the way. Turns out the breast cancer walk-a-thon thing was that weekend and they dyed the water in the fountain pink. Kind of cool.

Then to the museum where we saw Leonardo himself. I made the comment that I'd never taken a picture with Leonardo before and "he" (the guy who was dressed up as Leo was character, I guess) said, "I've never had my picture taken before." Silly. The drawings were really cool and I have a new appreciation for the guy. He was borderline genius as far as I'm concerned.

Since we are rather random, we thought we'd drive around a bit, looking at buildings and stuff. We found a tiny little hot dog place and a rather decent Famous Pete's hot dog which we ate at the Vulcan.

I'd never seen Vulcan and found it to be...big. Learned a lot about Birmingham and it's beginnings, etc. Good to know I guess since I've been here over 20 years and never knew.

Not surprising, Joanna and I decided to take some silly pictures. My favorite is one of Joanna laying out on the sidewalk like she was the anatomical man (a drawing by Leo). Only Joanna would have absolutely NO shame in laying flat on the sidewalk. In public. While wedding pictures were being taken just feet away.

We saw a few other buildings that are unique to Birmingham and had a fun day just being with each other. I love my little sis!

-Went to Virginia with the parents again. This was the first time we'd been back since my grandmother passed away. Kind of different, odd to go to Virginia and there not be any grandparents to see. We have a LOT of family up there but there's something about the grandparents. I'll have to write another blog telling about the fun we had while we were up there. Only the Vaughan girls can find ridiculous things to do.

So my life has been fun, not necessarily busy, but enjoyable.

I still miss Dr Perry. Horribly. It's hard to believe that he's gone. Just the other day I thought about something I wanted to share with him and it hit me like a punch in the chest that he wasn't there to talk to. I know he's in heaven and I'll see him again one day but...

And that's my update. Hopefully I won't let so much time pass before my next one.

In A Rut

2008-09-19T18:27:00.000-07:00

Ok. So I haven't blogged in a while because there has been absolutely nothing exciting to even blog about. My life has been caught up in working until 6:30-7:00 at night, answering emails and falling asleep while typing. If that doesn't scream excitement, I don't know what does.

I have decided though, that I'm going to find something fun and random to do. I'm just not sure what yet, so....any ideas?

Let me tell you about the precious phone call I got today from my 2 year old niece.

Me: Hello.
Niece: Hey Su-Su.
Me: Hey Maddie!!!! What are you doing?
Niece: I home. I un oo Su-Su ca. (I want to go in Su-Su's car)

So then Mommy gets on the phone. I'm picking Maddie up within 10 minutes and she goes with me to eat with a friend. How in the world could I say no to such a sweet request?! We talked, sang a little and had a marvelous time.

I really need something to do if I'm now transcribing phone conversations.

Help me.

One Topic To The Next

2008-08-23T18:12:00.000-07:00

Have you ever looked back on a few days and wondered why did I do that? I've worked some long hours this week and really haven't had time to do anything, read anything or even pray. I've just been too exhausted. And because I haven't read, prayed or slept like I needed to, it makes the fight against sin a lot harder.

Do you have a particular sin that you just keep repeating over and over and over? You know it's wrong. You do it anyway.

And why? You know you're just going to feel guilty and beg forgiveness. But it's like the temptation is just too strong. My pastor calls these "pet sins". Sins that we just can't give up because they're too precious to us. Why can't God be that precious to me?

And what's even more amazing than the fact that I don't learn after about a million times of doing wrong is that my heart is convicted, I run to God for forgiveness and He grants me forgiveness. All those million times. Now if that's not grace amazing and mercy overflowing then I'm not sure what is. I was so upset over my selfishness and God's mercy that I wrote a poem. A poem to express my distress. To show my black heart and God's overwhelming love. The kind of deep love that's underneath me, all around me.

When I was younger I used to write poems all the time. I found that I could express myself better in poetry than just words on paper. I rarely showed those poems to anyone and probably couldn't even find them now. In fact, I probably don't want to find them because they're rather juvenile. But there's something about a outlet to express.

Anyway. Back to my original thought.
How can God forgive me all those times knowing I'm going to fall again? Soon. He is so long-suffering with me. I don't understand. But I do appreciate it. Maybe THIS time I'll have learned my lesson. Maybe THIS time I will throw off that pet sin and replace it with Christ.

I hope so. I pray so.

And some silly things from today:
-Heels can make you feel pretty and girly...especially if they're pink.
-I like spending time with my family and I sure do miss them when they're gone.
-The beach is calling me. (Danielle...I might be coming your way!)
-I lost my crochet needle.
-Politics wear me out.
-Some people will talk to ANYBODY. (Joanna and I stopped to get a bite to eat at the cafeteria at Watermark and this guy was talking to anybody and everybody. I learned that he drag races for a living. He owned a restaurant called Shut Up and Eat. He has someone else running that restaurant and is living off the interest alone. He thinks Joanna and I are twins. He loves shrimp.)

I'm supposed to be running to practice for a marathon that Stacey and I are doing in a few years. Have I even walked? Absolutely not. So I decided that I'm going to walk/run at least 3 times a week for starters.

I mean it.

And finally. Do you have a person in your life that you share things with and they always had a different perspective than anyone else? And it was always a good thing. Like you could get the same answer out of 20 people and this person would say the same thing but with different words, in a different way and it would be the decision maker or breaker.

I am just amazed, thankful, blessed for the people God puts in my life.

Life

2008-08-13T17:09:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like life is too complicated? I'm struggling with this issue of living in the world but not like the world. It's not as easy as it sounds. I work at an OBGYN office and though we're a Christian office there are a lot of patients that aren't. Surprisingly, I hear all kinds of language, crudeness and stories that would make you blush and yet I have to be professional. How can I filter through the bad and pick out what needs to be addressed? These women aren't coming to us for a sermon but for health care. At what point do I say..enough!
Drinking adult beverages in public. Does a stranger assume that because I am holding a beer or a glass of wine in my hand that I'm a sot? I don't have a problem with drinking in moderation but if I drink in public am I giving off a different impression?
How about secular music. There are so many songs out that are encouraging, uplifting, even spiritual sounding but if the artist is an atheist or a womanizer hooked on drugs and alcohol am I endorsing them by enjoying and buying their music?

Disclaimer:*I randomly chose three topics. I am not picking on one issue over another nor am I thinking about anyone in particular when I write about these things*

These are all tough questions and I have to be careful to not be a legalist when I address these issues in my heart. I want to be a light in this dark world. I want others to see me and see that there's something different about me, something peaceful. I want to be out and about enjoying good music, enjoying a glass of wine, working at my job but show forth Christ in my life. I speak out but sometimes I wonder if I speak out enough. Am I living my life differently than the world?

As I'm out in the world I really need to pray that God would show me wisdom in each situation. That He would use me to pull out the good and throw away the bad in everything I do. I want to love my patients and be bold in saying that I don't want to hear the unnecessary. I want to be able to enjoy that adult beverage while showing moderation. I want to love the beautiful song and speak up against the writer/artist who does not acknowledge his Creator.

I just don't know how to do that. Any thoughts? Any suggestions?

And then I wonder if it's possible to please everybody. I'm sure there are some who would be offended that I listen to the radio. And some would never drink in public but wouldn't mind it in the privacy of their own home. Some wouldn't listen to the patient because of her foul mouth and never get to the root of her problem. I don't want to be this person. Instead of being worried about what people are thinking, I want to be worried about what God thinks of me. Yet I have a reputation to uphold and others are watching. People watch more than you think.

Am I all over the place with these thoughts? Are they making sense to anybody?

I just need to pray that God would guide me, show me what I'm supposed to say, when I supposed to say it. I pray for conviction when I'm wrong and discernment to pick through the filth of this world and pull out what was meant for good. I pray for understanding for those are around me and boldness to speak up for truth. I pray for wisdom.

Does anybody else struggle with these things?

Bob That Head

2008-08-02T14:28:00.000-07:00

A friend at work had two tickets to see Rascal Flatts in Atlanta last night. She wasn't able to go and when I heard that she was GIVING them away, I mentioned that I might be interested.

Ok. I practically begged her to think about me if she was seriously giving them away.

She did give them to me (!!) and I started on my quest to find another person to go. The first that came to mind was already going and I figured that Mona (from work) was always on the prowl for something random to do on the weekend, so I asked her.

She said yes!!!

We had planned on meeting up after work on Friday since we only had a half a day we thought that we could leave around 2:00, 2:30 and make it to Atlanta before all the traffic. I'm here to say that that did not happen. Work delayed us so we left right at 3:00 with wet hair and no makeup, starving and adrenalin pumping. We did get something to eat pretty quick and made good time to Atlanta despite the late start.

Mapquest gave us great directions and even took us around the traffic and we pulled in with time to spare. Parking was so expensive but a girl can't complain when she didn't have to pay for tickets.

It was about a 10 minute walk to Lakewood Amphitheatre and we stood in line for about an hour and a half to get in. When we finally made it to the front and they checked our bag (my trusty backpack), we were informed that backpacks are not allowed and we would have to take it back to the car. I nicely informed that lady this was an inconvenience but took my backpack all the way back to the car while Mona waited on me. In the mean time my other friends who are already in are probably wondering where I am and the concert is close to starting.

I decided to just walk all the way back up the front of the line and not wait since I already had which made a lady behind me very angry. I told her that I had already waited for 90 minutes like she had and was sent away.

She didn't care. She talked ugly about me until I got through the gates. Thankfully I ignored her and didn't turn around and slap her which is what the old Susanna would have done. Only the saving grace of God turns a heart around so that I show love instead of hatred and anger.

Taylor Swift opened the concert and really put on an interesting show. She is a unique performer and has different songs that are so catchy.

During the intermission we looked for my friends a few times and never did find them. Sad!! I really wanted to see them. Sorry friends!!!

(they were somewhere around here...)

And then...

The drum roll starts. Getting louder. And LOUDER! Fireworks shoot up from the stage, the curtain falls and there they are. Up on a lift...

RASCAL FLATTS!!!!

Mona and I screamed and screamed and hugged and screamed some more. We were like a two high schoolers. But that's alright because we had a blast!!!

They sang all my favorite songs and we sang right along with them. There are few videos and much more pictures on facebook if you'd like to check them out.

The crowd was really neat where we were sitting. It looked like lots of families and couples who just wanted to watch the concert. But that wasn't the case all over. It seemed like the further back you got the more, how can I tackfully say this... interesting the people got. I don't understand the need to dress trashy and over-indulge in drinking to have a good time. And I was sad to hear one of the group using language that they don't use in their songs and talking about girls in Atlanta in a way that they don't portray in their music. Seeing trashy people and hearing foul language was a turn off but I really enjoyed the singing.

I had a blast and really enjoyed Mona going with me. Thanks Mona!!!

We did leave the concert a little early to look for the tour bus with no luck. I even asked a guy behind one of the fences where they were. He pointed to the back of the amphitheatre but when I asked him if we could get back there he said no. We knew he'd say that but at least we knew where they were and tried really hard to get back there and see them.

We left Atlanta in heavy traffic with big smiles on our faces, blisters on our feet, wearing Rascal Flatts t-shirts and lots of pictures and memories. I'm glad I went and owe a BIG thank you to my friend, my coworker who participated in such a fun-filled evening.

Grandma

2008-07-21T19:53:00.000-07:00

I'm heading off to Virginia to see my family. My grandmother passed away this weekend. She was the last of the grandparents and it seems like the end of an era since we (my immediate family and I) have been driving up to Virginia to see them for 22 years.

The memories I have of this particular grandmother are many. In fact, some of my very first memories are of her. It's hard not to think about that as I try so hard to not be sad since she was 91 years old and is perfectly healed now but I sure do miss her already.

Thankfully, she was a believer. She read her Bible every day, always prayed over every meal and with her children and grandchildren. But most importantly she was a teacher of the Word. She practiced what she preached. She taught us to love one another when we were younger and always seemed to be in some kind of tiff. She taught us to forgive each other when we felt like we were wronged. She was always ready to talk when we called and would ask one more question when we told her we had to say goodbye. When we packed up our car to head home after a visit, she cried and hugged us tight, making sure we knew that we had a place to stay and could stay as long as we wanted.

But what I remember the most was a time when my heart was broken. I had the advice and consolation of friends and family but all there well-meaning words didn't seem to comfort my soul. When I called my grandma and told her my woes she simply said...God's in control. He wouldn't let anything happen to you or your heart that wasn't meant for your good. Just trust in Him...

So simple. And it was exactly what I needed. The simple truth. Trust in Him. Isn't that the solution to so many of our problems.

That's how my grandmother was. Simple in all she did. She wasn't simple-minded by any means but what I mean is that she was a country girl and she rolled with the punches. There was no "reading into" anything in the Word...either you trust God or you don't. Same with us when we stayed at her house. Either you lied or you didn't. Either you abide by her rules or you go home. Very simple. But the funny thing is, now that I look back, her rules weren't all that rigid and easy to follow. She was such a dear woman and the impact that she made on my life will never be forgotten.

I guess I'm rambling on and on about a lady you've never met. But she was so precious to me and I can't wait until I see her again on the other side and we can praise our Saviour together.

Family is such a blessing, isn't it?

Where To Go? What To See?

2008-07-15T18:05:00.000-07:00

Right now I can't get Italy off my mind. There was so much more I wanted to do and so much I didn't see. Not too mention that I got to spend time with fun friends and eat the best food ever. I miss it.

I want to get away. Visit a place that I've never been to before. See something new and interesting. Have you ever had that itch to just get out of town and away from the normal life, the mundane job, the same surroundings that I've seen for so long.

Any suggestions?

The Dreaded Topic Of Politics

2008-07-08T19:32:00.000-07:00

Today I heard about politics. Something I detest but I guess is necessary to every voting citizen. I was reminded of the silly debates that church and state are to separated, how this nation was founded by religious people and how we need to be more diverse.

Ridiculous.

The state must not run the church. Is that not why our forefathers left England? Wasn't it religious freedom perhaps, perchance, peradventure?
*I really like using all three of the "per"s together. Don't ask why. I just do*

Was this nation really founded by "religious people" or Christians? I think that history proves that most of the founding fathers were Christian (though some were warped with their theology and doctrine) or they at least stood for the truth that Christians stand for. Even the deists were so much more moral (a term I use loosely) than most politicians today. Though some didn't practice Christian truths they at least supported them and showed some regard for those who did.

How much more diverse can this nation get?!

We vote luke-warm, fence-straddling religious people into office every voting day. And yet we can't figure out why nobody stands up for truth. We vote for the lesser of two evils and turn a blind eye to the obvious that we're still putting evil into office. When will we, as a nation under God, understand that we have to stand up for truth. Freedom won't be handed to us while we sit back and drink lemonade.

As mentioned before, I can't stand politics. There's no one to fight for hardly and I can talk until I'm hoarse and people will still vote for the repulican candidate who has a hidden agenda. Instead, I go quietly about my business. I support the ones that are worthy to be put in office but I don't have that fight in me.

So I encourage you, reader, to read about who's out there. Don't just take the media's word for it. They warp the news and somehow are able to sleep at night. Ask around. There are candidates running for office that I have no quarrels (as of yet) about their agenda. One in particular, has proven true by his track record and truly has a foundation in what this nation was orginally founded on. The Word.

I can't tell you who to vote for. I haven't even figured it out myself right now. But I can tell you seek out through Scripture. Look for what we're supposed to be looking for in leaders.

We, specifically I, must start fighting back as Christians.

Top Ten Things That Have Run Through My Mind Today

2008-07-01T17:39:00.000-07:00

1. I'm trying to find good books about heaven. Since Dr Perry passed away I've thought more and more about heaven and wonder what people's thoughts are. So far I've found Heaven by Randy Alcorn and 90 Minutes In Heaven by Don Piper. I know I have books that talk briefly about heaven...I just have to find them. I'm open for suggestions.

2. I totally enjoy frozen green seedless grapes.

3. The new show Wipeout makes me laugh out loud. Literally.

4. I am always amazed how I can think about something all day long, sometimes all week long. Then read something along that thought in the Scripture. Then someone sends me a devotional that totally fits with all I've thought about. And finally a friend calls and talks to me about something that exactly goes along with my thoughts. The providence of God is beautiful.

5. I can't wait to look at my pictures again.

6. Some of the people I went to school with look a lot older. Strangely, I don't seem to look older at all...snick!

7. My car seems to be using gas much quicker now that it's gone up. I think they're doing something different to it so that it burns up faster. It's all a conspiracy.

8. People are depraved and wicked.

9. I wish I had some frozen grapes right now.

10. I'm so glad I found my Bible study book so I can see Stacey.

How Do You Say Goodbye?!

2008-06-24T16:54:00.000-07:00

I'm sad.

I can't help it but a dear, dear friend (and family) have moved to another state. Thankfully their last Sunday with us brought a message that helped my sad little heart.

I'm been considering how we are so different in walks of life and yet seem to have so much in common. She's married and has a full time job of raising five children. I am single, no children and seem to be working all the time. I know that our bond is Christ but I had no idea how tight that could be until I heard an excerpt Sunday.
A paraphrase: An Englishman and an African met, each having two very different backgrounds. One attending college and having the finer things of life. The latter having to hunt his own food and working for all he has. Yet when they meet they seem to have all in common because they have their all in Christ. In fact, they find that they have more in common with each other than they do their family and closest friends.

This is how I feel with Marie. And not just with Marie but with a few others as well. (One I meet with for Bible study!) This common foundation of Christ seems to make up for all other things. Amazing.

But I'm still sad.

I miss her. I miss those kids!

Ok, fine. I miss Ben too.
I don't like change but it's very obvious that change must happen for growth. For them. For me.

Wow! It's Been A Long Time!

2008-06-13T20:15:00.000-07:00

First I must apologize to my blog readers who wanted updates while I was abroad (I like saying abroad because it makes me sound like I'm a world traveler). Unfortunately, the family I stayed with did not have internet for most of the time I was there and even if they did there were 7 people using one computer so I wouldn't have had much time. My brother-who loves computers and knows all about them-asked why I didn't just go find some public wi-fi. It wasn't that easy. All this to say that my lack of communication was not because I didn't try.

By the time I had to leave Italy I was thoroughly enjoying not having a computer or telephone. I realize now how much time I spend on both (usually necessary) and having a break was so refreshing. It was really nice to not have to multitask.

Where do I start?
My flights were good. I almost missed a connecting flight because planes were delayed twice. I literally jogged (with a 50 pound backpack on) off the plane to hear them paging..."Last call for Vaughan (and some other poor soul who was about to miss his flight)."...I made it just in time and they shut the door almost as soon as I sat down. Whew! that was a close one. I didn't want to miss any flights!

The flight to from JFK to Rome was good. There was some turbulence (for about 20 minutes which is a long time if you've never experienced it) and I am not ashamed to say that it scared me a little. It woke me up and I prayed and sang a hymn out loud...that's right, I said out loud. It was softly so no one else heard me. (and for those who are wondering I sang God Will Take Care Of You... I thought it fitting) Thankfully I sat on the wing and the seat next to me was empty so I was able to stretch out.

I hoped that when I got into Rome that smells and sights would trigger memories. I'm hear to tell you that the very first smell was not pleasant and absolutely no memories were triggered. Ever. My first smell was the baggage claim in the bottom of the airport which smelled like most of the people there hadn't bathed for weeks and musty shoes. Not a good combination.

I made it up to the top in record time and even beat Cheri getting there. I came inside to look for her again and saw her rounding the corner. She had a sign that had my name on it like all the other people who were picking up tourists. Silly girl! She had Lydia with her who is a young lady from Pennsylvania who recently graduated from college. She did two years in the states and two years of school in Italy and fell in love with Rome and the Giulianis so she came back for a visit and doesn't plan on going home. She is such a sweet, good-natured girl and Cheri and I had a lot of fun picking on her.

The driving in Rome was so...interesting. They have two lane roads but chose to make them into 4, sometimes 5. Stop signs are suggestions and not heeded unless a car is REALLY close and sidewalks aren't for people to walk only but also for Vespas and scooters. Strangely enough, none of that bothered me like Cheri thought and I had no problem riding in Rome.

Cheri and I did most of the sight-seeing. I'm sure the kids are tired of seeing the same 'ole buildings every time a visitor comes. I learned even more that Cheri and I are a lot alike and we had a marvelous time! We saw the Vatican but I didn't go inside because the line went all the way around St Peter's square. In case you were wondering, St Peter's square is really round. I was shocked and perplexed. I took a picture with a police officer and found out that they don't really do that. I also learned that you don't smile at people, specifically men, when you make eye contact while you walk down the street; you don't wave at people while driving down the road. It just isn't done. I like being friendly to people and this way of not paying attention is new to me.

I also went to downtown Rome and saw the Colosseum, the Spanish steps, the Trevi Fountain and tons of buildings, flowers, people, tourists, and odds and ends. There's too much to even mention.

We went out of Rome for a day and drove to the mountains of Isola. It was absolutely breathtaking! I still look at the pictures and can't believe how gorgeous it is there and how much the pictures do NOT do it justice. I could easily live there and never talk to society again...but then I'd miss my family and friends. But it is beautiful and God's creation is breath-taking.

I ate a lot of good food and my favorite was...everything! There wasn't one thing I didn't like! Except for maybe the octopus tentacle that I ate. I think that was more of a visual thing. I had gelato (ice cream...the best ever!), real pizza, fish, potatoes baked with herbs, pasta (of course), lasagna, fresh fruit, fresh cheese cake, fresh-squeezed lemonade made from the lemons in Renato's mother's garden...and the list goes on.

The church was so delightful. Cheri was such a doll to translate for me and Renato even spoke in English every now and then when Cheri had to step away. It just did my heart good to hear the messages and to meet the people I've been praying for for some time. They are so loving and so appreciative. Which leads me to another topic. I was kissed more times in those ten days then I had been in years. And I loved it!

The Renato, Cheri, the children and Lydia were such a blessing to me. I miss them. I can't even begin to tell you how much I more they mean to me since I spent time with them. God does place people in our lives that are such inspirations and they are the perfect examples.

I would love to go back to Italy one day to help them out in their ministry but I know that I have a lot of preparation. I need to learn Italian. Bad. I don't necessarily see me moving there full time but I would love to go back and stay for a month or more helping them spread the gospel, bringing light to such a dark world. And then I'm convicted as I see that the light needs to be shown here as well. Such a need...everywhere. Oh that God would raise up many more who are burdened to take the gospel around the world. And I know that it starts with me, with you, but there is so much to be done.

Over all...I had a wonderful trip! I can't wait to go back and I am so appreciative, thankful for all the prayers. I thank you for asking about my trip, for suffering through A-L-L the pictures, for listening to my stories and for being as excited as I was. I love you all!

And it's good to be home.

Catching Up

2008-05-04T20:08:00.000-07:00

I feel like I've had time to do anything lately and yet have accomplished nothing. There's so much to catch up on.

The most bittersweet has been the end of this life for Dr Perry. Bitter because he's gone and quickly too. His memorial service will be on the 3 month marker. And sweet because I know that he's not suffering any more. Instead he's singing eternal praises to our Saviour. Still miss him though.

In just a week and a half I'll be in Italy!!!! I can't wait! I don't have much packed and it's driving me crazy.

I feel like I've worked 10 hours every day. Getting to work early and leaving late has worn this girl out. But this too will pass...

My nieces and nephews are still the delight of my life. The memories of times with them make me smile every day.
Josh riding his daddy's lawnmower and doing donuts in the yard. When he calls me to tell me his game has been cancelled but so I'm not too disappointed, I can come to his practice one night.
Lanie running. Her attentive reading along of the Bible even though she's not in the right chapter, let alone book.
Maddie writing on Sam's head. Her first words every time I see her "I 'on go byyyeeee."
Sam grinning and doing his one foot dance when he sees me. When he says "a-baa?" when someone leaves the room like he's saying "hey, where are you going?"

I could go on for hours.

That's a few of the updates. Maybe when I have time I'll catch you up on other things.

A Rant

2008-04-18T19:24:00.000-07:00

This blog is nothing but a rant. Be warned and read at your own risk.

I went dancing last night and discovered that tall men don't dance. I don't get it! There were lots of guys there but the tall ones (those 6 foot and over) stood off to the side or weren't even there. Now the guys who are my height (or shorter) were quite willing to dance and even danced well, asking women to dance left and right.

I ask you, men of physical stature...where are you? Why aren't you dancing?

As I stood talking to friends I noticed that I am head and shoulders taller than most of the people who were at the ball I attended. I realize that I'm tall for a girl and that I like to wear heels. But am I asking too much for just a few 6 foot or taller men to attend a few balls? Don't you desire culture? Don't care to get out of your 72+ inch box and learn a little dancing?

And now to the unmarried under 5'6" girls. Why can't you settle for a man who's a few inches taller than you. Why must you go for the guy who could carry you on his hip. The guy who is at least a foot taller than you and when you stand together you look like his child. Leave the tall guys for the tall girls, ok?

Disclaimer: This rant is not directed towards any of my dear family and friends who are short girls married to tall men. I'm not sure who it's directed to.

Oreos

2008-04-14T17:25:00.000-07:00

There has been great debate on how to properly eat an oreo cookie. Regardless of the many ways, they always equal enjoyment.

1: Some eat the cookie with absolutely no milk. I find this offensive.
2: Then there's the group who eat the cream center and dip the cookie in milk...or coffee. Though I don't necessarily enjoy this method, milk is involved which is always a plus.
3: I have a family member who dips the cookie in their milk, but only for a short time. Not enough to really get a milk taste. This method is necessary when in public which I have resorted to simply to be proper.
4: The elite group will always hold their cookie deep in their mug of milk, rotating the cookie around to get optimum cookie softness. At times, you have to drink your milk down to find the cookie that broke off but that is just the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Occasionally, one's fingers will get cold but it's so worth the ultimate taste enjoyment.
5: And to add to the excitement I have a friend who uses a spoon to get his cookie out of the milk, which also increases the amount of cookie that is exposed to milk. There is a tricky part to this 'spooning' method. You must hold your cookie in the milk halfway, soaking only one half. If you don't do this first then the cookie will float which is not what we're looking for when seeking supreme oreo tastiness.

I can't think of any other way to eat an oreo. All I ask is that you just eat one.

How can the world be sad if oreos are around?

Chaos and Peace

2008-04-06T19:14:00.000-07:00

Two thoughts have entered my mind as I sat down to type this entry. Chaos and peace.

I had the most fun this weekend at my sweet niece's (Alayna) birthday party. She turned four and didn't mind showing you how she could count to four on her fingers. I went by their house on Friday to see if there was anything I could do and was commissioned to help clean up the kids room. Joshua, being the adorable 8 year old that he is, paid me a dollar for helping them.

The next day as the moonwalk arrived, I think I was more excited than the kids. It is just so much fun to watch it blow up and take form. It was a strawberry shortcake (or strawberry cake...as Lanie calls it) moonwalk and she loomed over the doorway in a kind of scary way. I admit that I was a bit frightened when I would go in and out.
Of course, moonwalks aren't just for kids and the older "kids"...the adults...got in also. Little did we know that the moonwalk had slipped off the air compressor just enough to make the airflow not so good. We jumped a while...well, they jumped and I held a scared 2 year old in my lap trying to convince her that moonwalks are fun. There was another 2 year old that was being bounced around but she seemed to like it. Two big boys (my 6'4'' brother being one of them) got on one side of the moonwalk and it started caving in and the screams of fear began. They went back to the middle and every thing was ok. Then back to the side and it caved in again. The boys thought it was oh, so much fun while I was left trying to console one screaming child with another one grabbing my leg. I guess the moonwalk couldn't recover the last time it caved in because it wouldn't fill back up with air and the boys were holding up the ceiling with their hands. I was a tad bit frightened but they were all laughing so I figured it couldn't be that bad. I tried to get out through the tiny door but the scary Strawberry Shortcake kept collapsing on the doorway. I shoved one 2 year old out the door, yelling for a parent to grab her and the other child had a death grip on my neck so I had to head out the door with her.

Side note: if you've ever been on a moonwalk lately, the doors really lack in size. They are so tiny and you really have to squeeze to get out. Not a graceful entrance or exit.

So I'm trying to get out the door head first. That was my big mistake. There was no air on the step right out side the door and it was just collapsing on the ground every time I tried to squeeze out. I think I could have made it if the baby wasn't climping up my neck and the others in the moonwalk would have stopped jumping for just 2 minutes. But no. It was so much funnier to keep jumping and laughing and pointing. I get out on the step and was bounced into the grass face first. Grass is not as tasty as you think, especially when it's mixed with mud. Thankfully the child had made her way around to my back so she was not injured. What was injured was my pride because the jumpers were laughing and the collapsing of the moonwalk had drawn the attention of all the other partiers and they were sitting around the tables watching my try to get out with two kids. Did they help? Absolutely not. They were too busy laughing to get up.

The lesson learned. Don't get out of a moonwalk head first when there's not much air in it and you have children hanging all over you and others are still jumping.

The moonwalk was hooked properly back up to the air compressor and it's amazing how well you can jump when it has air in it.

I keep trying to pack for my trip to Italy. Yes, that's right, I'm going to Italy!!! I have tried to get things together for the past 3 days with no avail. I keep finding other things to do like cleaning the bathroom, going to a birthday party, my taxes, sleeping. It's like I'm doing every thing but what I'm supposed to be doing. Amazing how good I am at procrastinating. I wonder if it's a spiritual gift.

I've been thinking all weekend about how a Godly woman is to keep a quiet heart and then my pastor speaks on the very thing this morning in his sermon. Elisabeth Elliott had a great quote and also quoted Amy Carmichael about this very thing.

"Jesus slept on a pillow in the midst of a raging storm. How could He? The terrified disciples, sure that the next wave would send them straight to the bottom, shook Him awake with rebuke. How could He be so careless of their fate? He could because He slept in the calm assurance that His Father was in control. He was a quiet heart." Elisabeth Elliott
"Thou art the Lord who slept upon the pillow,
Thou ar the Lord who soothed the furious sea,
What matter beating wind and tossing billow
If only we are in the boat with Thee?

Hold us in quiet through the age-loing minute
While Thou art silent, and the wind is shrill:
Can the boat sink while Thou, dear Lord, art in it?
Can the heart faint that waiteth on Thy will?" Amy Carmichael

Oh to have that quiet heart and peacefully rests in Him through all situations. Even the storms. Especially the storms.

And it was such a peaceful ending to a fun-filled, crazy weekend to know that I can have a quiet heart. I just have to rest.

Ponderings Of A Sinner

2008-03-21T10:36:00.000-07:00

I sit in this hospital room with a mind full of thoughts. Wondering "why", "if only", "how". And then the Lord speaks to me through the words of a book, the blogging of a friend, and His own revealed Word. And all my thoughts seem to cease with their turmoil and maybe, just maybe I can gather them.

One thought=
I sit with a friend who has cancer in his lungs. He sleeps so peacefully and I can't help but just watch him breathe in and out, over and over. It makes me thankful for this time that I have with him, a sweet memory that I won't forget. Deep down inside I want to share with him the things that I've learned through my own affliction but dare I wake him when he sleeps so well? Do I dare tell him that I know of One, the same One that he knows, who will carry him through this trial just as He carries me even now. I know my precious friend knows already but maybe I was sent here this day to remind him.

Next thought=
How could I dare to think of missions when I know my own dark heart. How could I share and exhort others to lead a pure and holy life when I don't lead one myself. Then I'm reminded that being transparent might be the very tool that God uses to draw one to Him. Being transparent is so tough but necessary.

And another thought=
Why does it seem that when I have free time I don't catch up on reading or journal? I keep thinking about that book that I haven't finished, stare at it on the table, but do I pick it up and read. No. I have no excuse or answer for this thought.

The last thought I will post=
This day, Good Friday, I think of my Saviour. The One who gave Himself, willingly, to die for my sins. I know that His work is accomplished because He rose on the 3rd day. Death was conquered. Hallelujah!! He is risen! It makes my heart so full of thankfulness that I can't speak. So I type. Why does He love me so? Why does He delight in me? Oh thank You that You do love me and delight in me! Thank You for Your mercy, grace, love and peace.

So I share some of my thoughts with you, dear reader, in hopes that I will be transparent enough to encourage you, exhort you, tell you that you are not alone in this Christian walk. There are others who reflect on their sins, repent daily, worry about others (saved or not), and praise God through out the day.

Be encouraged, my friend.

Laugher and Prayer

2008-03-09T19:37:00.000-07:00

Kids make me laugh. Period. All weekend I've been around my nieces and nephews and they have made me smile, chuckle, giggle and laugh hard more than any time before. I'm not sure what was different about this weekend except that I've been a little stressed and sad lately so maybe laughing is exactly what I need. As I think back on the past few days I still laugh out loud at the memories of sweet kiddos being locked in a bathroom stall, eating candy off a public floor, the 2 year old taking money out of my wallet and giving it to the Dairy Queen cashier, saying "chee" (cheese....she loves cheese) or the wooden sword that was made with red paint on the end to make it look like blood (only a boy would think of that).

And then there's the baby that now claps. (He holds one tiny hand still and hits it with the other hand.) Who grins at you whenever you look his way. Who has a different colored spot in his eye just like his aunt. How can a child make a sad heart a little more glad?

I was reminded this weekend that God delights in me despite my wayward heart. How can I stray from a God Who loves me so? How can I be so selfish and He be so merciful?

I heard this morning a sermon that showed me I am quite like Peter in that I have a "weapon" (his was a sword...mine are my words or my ways) that I quickly use simply because I have it, not waiting for the right time, the proper time. Weapons are not bad in and of themselves and are to be used with love. I don't always do that. I, like Peter, see an injustice or a situation that isn't going like I think it should and wield my weapon cutting another down in a way that cannot be repaired unless God intervenes. As my pastor said, we must pray ourselves up so that we don't overreact. Such sobering thoughts as I remember how I like to speak first and think later.

And it's time to start back a new week which means back to work, back to stress. Maybe I ought to pray.

Emotions

2008-02-22T21:56:00.001-08:00

I sit here and it's way too late to be up, let alone blogging. But here I am...thinking about my past week's events. I think I've had and displayed every emotion that a woman could have.

Tears: I've cried more these past two weeks than I have in ten years. My sweet Christian doctor has cancer and it's serious. He has been such an inspiration to all of us and to patients and has been a pioneer in his field. It hurts when a someone that is needed so much isn't there any more.

Smiles and Laughter: When somone's been deathly sick and then they bounce back and start bossing you around like they used to...it just makes you smile.
Children are theraputic. My neices and nephews are always doing or saying something that makes me laugh. One is wearing her sparkly red shoes with everything whether it matches or not. Another goes into detail about his video games like they're real. One niece uses sign language because she's too young to really talk, like...blowing kisses and holding your car keys when she wants to leave. I also love that she tells you she has to potty just so she can wash her hands. And the darling baby. The child who still laughs at every face you make and breaks into a sweet smile when you walk in the room. How can anyone be sad around these kids?

Anger: Someone wasn't paying attention in traffic and slammed on breaks in front of me making me spill all the contents of my purse into the floor. That purse has lots of small contents. Sometimes I wish I had the time to follow these people and make them pick up my stuff. Sounds ridiculous now, but I was really mad then.

Annoyance: It really bugs me when someone doesn't park straight in their parking space. Just because your between the lines doesn't mean it's appropriate. Does anyone care about parking etiquette?!

Frustration: Getting up early and going to bed late is not a good combination and leads to weariness of the mind, soul, spirit. Yet I can't seem to get in bed earlier or sleep later and that frustrates me.

Isn't it interesting how God gives us such emotions and how we use them in daily lives. Maybe I ought to rethink how I use the emotions He's given and find a proper time to laugh, smile, cry, show anger and get frustrated. Maybe I ought to pray about proper emotion so that I know when to let things slide and when to follow people to their work. And the good emotions...I hope I never forget the things that make me have those good emotions. Memories of sweet kiddos or funny actions or sweet smiles are something that I never want to forget.

I think I'm beginning to see that I'm thankful for my emotions.

Be Still My Soul

2008-02-12T18:16:00.000-08:00

Be still my soul, the Lord is on your side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to your God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: your best, your heavn'ly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

These words were brought to mind by a friend who has a heavy heart like mine. They are timely and true. These words have soothed more than one troubled heart today and I hope that somone who reads this blog can be blessed by them and possibly they will minister to that reader's heart like they have to mine.

Saints and Suffering

2008-02-09T19:20:00.000-08:00

After hearing news that a loved one is seriously sick I've wondered what role suffering plays in our lives. I know that in this world there will be suffering, pain, affliction. I know that there will be dark times.

But when that time actually comes in your own life it shakes you. It makes you wonder and question lots of things that you normally wouldn't. There are a few things I've learned in this short time that I hope to never forget.

- In this past 48 hours if I didn't have hope in the One who gives me my next breath then I would have no hope.
- God gives a peace that is hard to explain to others.
- It's hard to allow change in my life.
- Grief comes strong and hard.
- Psalms are a great comfort.
- God is my provider.
- That I pray differently now.
- To say I love you more.

I wish that my heart was not so heavy, but I have comfort in the reality that God will receive glory. He will be honored. He is good. And He delights in us.

Psalm 57:1
" ...in the shadow of Your wings will I make my refuge until these calamites pass over."

My Thoughts. My Day.

2008-01-28T16:31:00.000-08:00

1. Due to complete exhaustion and lack of sleep, I decided to have a Cafe Americano, extra shot from Starbucks today. And extra shot, I found out later, means that is has 3 shots of espresso in one cup. My heart has been racing for about 2 hours straight, I've been talking WAY too loud, and I can't feel my lips. Should I be worried.

2. People who think only of themselves have had no compassion from me today. I wonder if tough love is the best way to handle those who think they are the only people in the world.

3. I've been thinking about oreos ever since Stacey said she had some for our Bible study.

4. My neice thinks that any man with a long beard looks like God. She's never seen God and we don't show her the typical pictures of Jesus that are floating around and have even told her that we can't know what God looks like. Yet she has this image that God has a beard in her little 3 year old mind. She's too cute!

5. I've almost paid off my car.

6. I saw the Pompeii exhibit at the art museum this weekend and it made me sad. Such a loss of life!

7. I'm making egg salad tonight.

8. I've not read ONE book that I'm supposed to be reading. Instead I'm caught up in this series of Christian romance fiction. Maybe when I'm through I'll be a little more motivated.

9. I've wondered all day today why God looks at my black heart and loves me anyway. Makes me love Him all the more for His grace. His mercy. Thinking about it makes me want to sing...
"Unfailing love flows from His heart and heals my soul. In spite of who I am, He loves and makes me whole. I almost can't believe it's true, unfailing love. And yet I know He gave His life to give to me. Unfailing love."

10. I want a camera that has a good zoom. Any ideas where I could find an affordable one?

So there are the musings of my mind today. Just a few of them.

What Wondrous Love Is This?

2008-01-27T13:26:00.000-08:00

Where does a sinner begin to talk about the love of God that's been bestowed on her? How does one put into words the realization that Christ has covered His child with His own righteousness?

Hosea was told by God to take to wife a woman who was a whore, a well-known whore. A woman who was unloved, unappreciated, used, empty. And Hosea obeyed. Taking her and showing her a love that she'd never known. A love that filled the emptiness in her heart.
What a beautiful picture of the love that God shows me. I, who sought after things of this world, whoring after things that would not give me peace, never really knowing love until He gave it to me. He filled that empty place in my heart that only His love could have filled. He showed me mercy when I should have had death. He gave grace when I deserved wrath. He gives me faith so that I can stand strong against the foe of this world who would remind me of who I was.
How can I express in words this wondrous love? How can I explain to another this love of God?

"What wondrous love is this, O my soul, O my soul!
What wondrous love is this, O my soul!
What wondrous love is this that caused the Lord of bliss
To bear the dreadful curse for my soul, for my soul
To bear the dreadful curse for my soul."

Not my deserving.

Changing Perspective

2008-01-22T19:46:00.000-08:00

Maybe I ought to change my perspective, how I see things, how I react, how I live.

I was reminded tonight that Christ, our Messiah, is King. The Jews didn't view Him as Messiah King then or now and wondering about their beliefs got me wondering about my own. Christ didn't come in as a king like they knew...full of pomp, splendor, regal...so He must not be the King that they'd waited on for so long. Jesus, instead, was humble, meek, a servant and didn't fit their descriptions at all.
If the Jews used the worldly description of a king, I wonder how do I use the world's descriptions in my own life?

Contentment-
The world would tell us that it's being married with 2 1/2 kids, an SUV and a minivan and a worry free life. God tells me to be content in all things. Implying that I must even be content in all circumstances, good or bad, even when I would be prone to worry or fret.

Joy-
The world tells us we obtain joy when we can get all we want. Whether it's the ultimate burger, physical shape, car or job. God's tell me that I can be joyful simply because Christ paid the debt for my sins and I now have life eternal. What else could give me more joy?

Peace-
The world offers us no peace. God has sent me the Prince of Peace that speaks to my heart with a still, small voice.

Hope-
The world gives us hope in carnal things that will not last (money, goods) or in people that will fail us. God gives me hope in His promises that all He says will come to pass. He will never leave me. He will never forsake me. He will never fail me.

Changing my perspective in just a few ways could possibly change my whole outlook on life. I wonder how much more could God use me if I would just view a few things unlike the world.

God's Will. My Life

2008-01-12T19:49:00.000-08:00

Isn't it strange that God's will for our lives can be almost the complete opposite of our own. Isn't it interesting to know that God would allow an obstacle to come my way for my good, yet all I, and the world, sees is seemingly bad.

I think of Job who lived righteous before God and yet God allowed Satan to tempt him and to take away all the he loved and held dear. All for what reason? For Job's good and God's glory.

None of this makes sense to me but I'm content in placing my life in the hands of One who loves me so. One who guides my life as He sees fit because He will receive glory and I will recieve good. It's a contentment that I can't explain and no one else will understand unless they are in this state.

I love that I have a Creator who is sovereign and ultimate control.

Behind A Frowning Providence He Hides a Smiling Face

2008-01-08T16:21:00.000-08:00

I have the sweetest little 17 month old girl at my church who has Down's syndrome. Just playing with her Sunday and seeing what a funny personality she has really gets me thinking about her situation and my reaction to God's will and providences.
Though I would never pray that a child would have Down's syndrome, I now know that I would also never pray that Down's be taken away from a child who's been diagnosed. That little girl has such a unique calling on her life and glorifies God in a way that I can't. She sees life differently than I do. She views life in a way that will forever be innocently child-like. She will always look for the good in people. She will always love unconditionally.

Thinking about her makes me think of another family I know who has a child with Down's. When the father was told that his child, who had just been born had Down's syndrome, he just smiled.
Smiled?!
I could have imagined myself crying, being silent, mourning...but to smile at the news? Yet he understood God's will and accepted it.
I had a different view of God's providences then but in this past year I am just beginning to see that behind every seemingly hideous providence thrown my way is something beautiful. And I am learning to smile.

And that dear child who is part of my church...I can't help but smile when I think of her, even now. If God has a smiling face behind all His providences why can't I have a smiling face as they come my way?

Just a little food for thought.

Laughter

2008-01-05T20:24:00.000-08:00

I've just been thinking about how we all need laughter in our lives at some point and time. My sister-in-law and I were talking about spiritual men and how they sometimes get so into theology that they forget to have a personality. She knew one who lost his sense of humor, was dull and viewed everything as a sin because of his study of Scripture. Interesting to think about as we all desire to dig deeper into God's Word.

At what point do we forget life and living and just focus on the study of God? And is that wrong? Just a little something I've been thinking on tonight.

My own thought is that we need each other and staying locked away in a room studying will only make us...well...weird. There's really no other word for it.
We need interaction with other believers who will hold us accountable and even unbelievers who will challenge us. We seem to be social creatures who desire fellowship at some point and time, though I know that there are times we desire quiet as well.
We need to receive love and give love. There's just something about seeing someone you love, especially when they are 5 months old and smile at every word you say.
We need laughter. You can have a thousand troubles that plague you, but they seem so distant when you laugh with someone. Even if it is for just a moment. Laughter loosens you up. Laughter makes a heavy heart light. Laughter with a person is a forever memory.

I can't explain why this has been on my heart this evening. But I do delight in looking back and laughing again at the memories.

New Year

2008-01-04T16:00:00.000-08:00

How can I abide in Christ? How can I say that I am resting in Him?

I've found a sweet rest, a sweet repose in giving all my cares to the Great Provider and resting fully in His grace. To be "in Him" is more than a just a line that we hear so many speak about, it's a calm, peace-filled rest knowing that He is sovereign that makes me sing "Hallelujah, What a Saviour! Hallelujah, What a Friend!"
How can I be anxious when He is near? How can I be ungrateful when He has given me so much? I can only praise Him, thank Him that He looked on me, unworthy though I am, and takes delight in showing me mercy.

Knowing this, understanding this is how I can abide and rest in Him. I pray that I never forget this as I start out my new year.